After SIX (not four!) appointments today, including an MRI and CT Scan, I am too exhausted and overwhelmed to post a full update.
Here are the important things I want everyone to know about today---
The MRI of my liver was CLEAN!!
No cancer cells in my liver!
Amazing news.
After I get some sleep, I will post a full update.
Thank you all for the calls, the messages, the texts. It really does mean the world to me.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I Have Amazing Friends
...who send me things like this.
Thanks, friend! I will be posting about my "fan mail" soon! :-)
Thanks, friend! I will be posting about my "fan mail" soon! :-)
Playing Catch-Up!
The Cancer Free(ish) Week was fabulous!
Mr. Spots and I thoroughly enjoyed our week together. As you know, he arrived on the Shore last Sunday. Exhausted and just anxious to spend time together, we had a lazy night together. Monday morning we got up, Mom took us to the airport, and we flew to Florida to visit my Grand Parents. (Did I mention that the woman behind us on the plan discussed how her husband thought he had skin cancer? Mr. Spots just glanced at me, shook his head...Sometimes there is no escaping it!) Like I mentioned in a previous post, my Grand Parents have been in Florida since November so the visit was overdue.
Tuesday was an absolutely beautiful day in sunny Florida. I lathered up in SPF 50 and headed to the pool. It felt a little unusual to not pick the chair in the direct sunlight... Instead Mr. Spots and I sat underneath a tree. Had a little bit of sun, enough to warm my skin, but I played it smart! Mom did send me an amusing text prior to heading out to the pool: "Now I don't have to tell you the importance of sunscreen, do I?" Funny lady, that Momma of mine! ;-)
Like my hat?! (Gran did...which is why I have to order another one for myself now! What better way to promote Melanoma awareness than my itsy bitsy Gran wearing hers with pride around those sun worshippers!)
Mr. Spots and I headed back to the condo about 45 minutes after being by the pool. I was too nervous to relax and was honestly in desperate need for a nap. The traveling exhausted me!
Tuesday night we joined my Grand Parents on a dinner cruise. It was a beautiful night and we were surrounded by beautiful people.
Tuesday night was not much fun for me. As I previously posted, I caught a little stomach bug so my night was full of yuckiness and a very worried Granny. ;-) (Love you, you silly lady!)
By Wednesday evening I felt almost human again. I was determined to be well because we had a dinner date with my 94 year old Great Great Uncle and his gorgeous wife. It was fun! I can only hope I am that spunky and in love when I am his age! He won my heart when he stood at the table when I returned from the restroom...that's a true gentleman, fellas. Take lessons!
It was time to head to Savannah on Thursday. It was difficult leaving Granny and Poppy and knowing that the next time I see them I will have fashionable (ha!) drains coming out of me!
Once we got through the downpour, we made it to Savannah!
We checked into the hotel, freshened up, and headed out to explore the beautiful city. We had a delicious dinner on River Street (I am forgetting the name of the restaurant right now...!) and began to walk around.
Our great attempt at taking our own picture with my super bright flash!
We started heading back towards the hotel when I noticed another "Ghost" type of tour! Excited, I started walking over to them, convinced I could talk Mr. Spots into going. Then I realized the tour involved riding in a hearse........No. Thank. You. I am trying to avoid being put in a hearse for a few dozen years!
However, good ol' Mr. Spots noticed a horse and carriage that appeared available. Luckily for us, the weather was cold and windy so there were not many people out renting the $98/hour carriage. The friendly lady agreed to take us on a private tour for $40.00. Perfect-o!
It was lovely.
It was romantic.
And it was educational.
I definitely plan on returning to Savannah to spend more time in the future!
Friday morning we packed up and spent about 9 hours in the car! Since seatbelts still irritate my neck, Mr. Spots drove about 8 hours of the trip that day. Good ol' boyfriend! Still, I was tired. We met my Dad for a quick dinner and tucked ourselves into bed.
Saturday we were L-A-Z-Y! We spent some time with my Mom and Step Dad then headed out to dinner with my childhood best friend, E, and her future husband. The four of us had a blast...It was interesting to sit there with the three of them and remember E and I being in 4th grade discussing what it would be like to double date with our special guys...I am really glad we were able to do that.
Mr. Spots left this morning...Although I tried to hold it together, I cried like a baby. Things seem a little less scary when he is around. Knowing that I won't see him for a month, knowing that the next time I see him I will possibly have drains coming out of me, even more scars, etc, upset me. Everything keeps changing and it is terrifying. I thoroughly enjoyed spending the week with him. I know the next month is going to be a rough one but I will think back on the last week and be able to smile! Thanks to everyone who contributed to that...Gran & Pop and Mr. Spots especially---I needed last week. Thank you.
Now Mom and I are in the Big Apple again. We are staying at the same hotel as our last trip--they remembered us and were kind enough to upgrade our room! Let me tell you, when the bell man remembers you, tells you that you WILL be fine because you are going to the best hospital, well... it feels like coming home! My one bedroom home away from home!
It is time to get some shut eye...Big day tomorrow:
9:00 Pre-surgery testing at outpatient center
10:30 MRI of liver at Radiology center
Directly following that...Meeting with Dr. Glenda's nurse to learn about the drains I will have, etc at hospital
2:45 Meeting Head & Neck Surgeon at hopsital
Phew.
I'm exhausted just thinking about it! ;-)
Good night, friends. I am off to dream sweet dreams!
Good night, friends. I am off to dream sweet dreams!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
When Reality Hits...
...it hits hard.
Cancer has always confused me. Until now I have only been in close contact with one person who was invaded by the nasty disease: my Grand Father. For countless years he ignored the new information about the dangers of smoking, even when my baby sister had enough guts to throw out his brand new case of cigarettes...(although possibly amused, he was not pleased with that!) Then, sure enough, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. A year later, he was gone.
I will speak for myself here-- although I hate him not being around to see how we have all grown up, to hear his laugh, to watch Wheel of Fortune with him, and although I hate seeing my Dad and Aunts struggle with missing their father, and though I absolutely hated the few years where there was such a noticeable emptiness in my Grand Mom's face, I understood what happened.
I understood that he started smoking years before the dangers of cigarettes were publicly known. When the advertisements and warnings were beginning to be shared with the world it was too late, he was addicted.
Here is my point--- I can make myself understand why we lost Grand Dad. God knows I wish he was still around to share his words of wisdom (which were sometimes buried under bad jokes.. Or told at inappropriate times--"Don't ever let a man call you a bitch" was blurted out during a Dallas Cowboys game---And to this day, I will not respect a man who calls me a bitch (even if I do deserve it...Grand Dad shared no words of wisdom on that scenario.)
What I can not make myself understand is how so many people around me lately are being torn apart by cancer: a recently retired man just trying to enjoy his wife, gorgeous YOUNG mothers too sick to care for their babies, an intelligent, incredibly sweet woman in the prime of her life...How can I begin to wrap my head around this?
Of course I know there are children who never even make it this far into life, we should be lucky we have been able to experience as much as we have, but call me selfish, I want to be the 94 year old woman at the dinner party.
It blows my mind that we can be living in limbo, go for another test, boom: Stage 4 Melanoma.
I am not talking about myself here...my heart is breaking for my friend Melanoma and the City. I know that she is a strong individual, and she definitely has a more positive outlook on all of this than I do, but I just want to hug her and tell her it is OK to be sad for a while, it is OK to cry because this SUCKS.
(Is this how you all feel when I pull the tough girl act?)
I know why she is being strong. Being strong, holding it together is the ONE thing we still have control over. Everything else is left up to our doctors and the cancer itself.
I know my friend has an awesome set of doctors who already have plans a, b, c, and d. How do I know that? Well, he told her so. When she kept repeating "OK" after being told her news, The Wizard (see, I told you she has an awesome oncologist!) snapped, " it is not OK!" I know in my heart that he is going to try to make it that way though...
This post was for me to vent, to let you into my heart break, and to politely remind you to take care of yourself. Stop thinking it can't happen to you.
And...please pray for my friend--for strength, for courage, and for good health.
Cancer has always confused me. Until now I have only been in close contact with one person who was invaded by the nasty disease: my Grand Father. For countless years he ignored the new information about the dangers of smoking, even when my baby sister had enough guts to throw out his brand new case of cigarettes...(although possibly amused, he was not pleased with that!) Then, sure enough, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. A year later, he was gone.
I will speak for myself here-- although I hate him not being around to see how we have all grown up, to hear his laugh, to watch Wheel of Fortune with him, and although I hate seeing my Dad and Aunts struggle with missing their father, and though I absolutely hated the few years where there was such a noticeable emptiness in my Grand Mom's face, I understood what happened.
I understood that he started smoking years before the dangers of cigarettes were publicly known. When the advertisements and warnings were beginning to be shared with the world it was too late, he was addicted.
Here is my point--- I can make myself understand why we lost Grand Dad. God knows I wish he was still around to share his words of wisdom (which were sometimes buried under bad jokes.. Or told at inappropriate times--"Don't ever let a man call you a bitch" was blurted out during a Dallas Cowboys game---And to this day, I will not respect a man who calls me a bitch (even if I do deserve it...Grand Dad shared no words of wisdom on that scenario.)
What I can not make myself understand is how so many people around me lately are being torn apart by cancer: a recently retired man just trying to enjoy his wife, gorgeous YOUNG mothers too sick to care for their babies, an intelligent, incredibly sweet woman in the prime of her life...How can I begin to wrap my head around this?
Of course I know there are children who never even make it this far into life, we should be lucky we have been able to experience as much as we have, but call me selfish, I want to be the 94 year old woman at the dinner party.
It blows my mind that we can be living in limbo, go for another test, boom: Stage 4 Melanoma.
I am not talking about myself here...my heart is breaking for my friend Melanoma and the City. I know that she is a strong individual, and she definitely has a more positive outlook on all of this than I do, but I just want to hug her and tell her it is OK to be sad for a while, it is OK to cry because this SUCKS.
(Is this how you all feel when I pull the tough girl act?)
I know why she is being strong. Being strong, holding it together is the ONE thing we still have control over. Everything else is left up to our doctors and the cancer itself.
I know my friend has an awesome set of doctors who already have plans a, b, c, and d. How do I know that? Well, he told her so. When she kept repeating "OK" after being told her news, The Wizard (see, I told you she has an awesome oncologist!) snapped, " it is not OK!" I know in my heart that he is going to try to make it that way though...
This post was for me to vent, to let you into my heart break, and to politely remind you to take care of yourself. Stop thinking it can't happen to you.
And...please pray for my friend--for strength, for courage, and for good health.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Who Gets Sick While On Vaca?
This girl!
I had the great pleasure of catching a stomach bug during my last full day in sunny Florida. Luckily I am starting to feel better this afternoon...I am still super weak, but at least I am no longer praying over the porcelain god.
Last night we joined Granny and Pop on a dinner cruise around West Palm Beach. Talk about gorgeous homes...it was a nice night. Mr. Spots and I snuck away after dinner and stood on the back of the 'boat' for some QT...quite romantic.
Tomorrow Mr. Spots and I are heading to Savannah. I am really excited to return there, it is such a pretty city!
Tonight we are off to meet my Great Great Uncle for dinner. He is 94 years old! Tonight will be the first time I meet him and his bride.
Let's hope I don't spread the stomach bug elsewhere!
As I end this post I am requesting you say a few prayers for people we care about...it seems like entirely too many people are receiving bad news lately. I have been reminded a lot this week that cancer is such a nasty, unpredictable disease. It breaks my heart.
I had the great pleasure of catching a stomach bug during my last full day in sunny Florida. Luckily I am starting to feel better this afternoon...I am still super weak, but at least I am no longer praying over the porcelain god.
Last night we joined Granny and Pop on a dinner cruise around West Palm Beach. Talk about gorgeous homes...it was a nice night. Mr. Spots and I snuck away after dinner and stood on the back of the 'boat' for some QT...quite romantic.
Tomorrow Mr. Spots and I are heading to Savannah. I am really excited to return there, it is such a pretty city!
Tonight we are off to meet my Great Great Uncle for dinner. He is 94 years old! Tonight will be the first time I meet him and his bride.
Let's hope I don't spread the stomach bug elsewhere!
As I end this post I am requesting you say a few prayers for people we care about...it seems like entirely too many people are receiving bad news lately. I have been reminded a lot this week that cancer is such a nasty, unpredictable disease. It breaks my heart.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A Quick Hello From Sunny Florida!
Mr. Spots and I had a great traveling day yesterday! The flights were a little rough, very eventful (thanks to the been-to-rehab-3-times chick who ordered a drink anyway...) and fun. It was nice to have some QT with him outside of our normal routine.
Being here with Granny and Pop is great. I haven't seen Gran since October (way too long!) so it was a nice little reunion last night. Plus she had made her famous fried chicken, mashed potatoes, dumplings and peas...Needless to say, we were NOT hungry after we finished!
We are about to head to the pool for a little bit (SPF 50 and I'm covered!) but I wanted to update everyone on the upcoming events since I talked to the surgeon yesterday and today.
Memorial Sloan Kettering determined my left armpit, right neck to be positive for Melanoma. They found my left neck, right armpit to be negative.
On Monday, March 14th, I will have 3 appointments in New York. I will meet the head and neck surgeon, I will go through my pre-surgery testing, and I will have an MRI to determine what's going on in my liver (surgeon believes it is nothing to worry about!)
Then on March 24th I will have surgery.
I admitted to Mr. Spots I am starting to get nervous about the surgery.....
Anyway--enough 'C' word talk! I'm going to enjoy my vacation!
Being here with Granny and Pop is great. I haven't seen Gran since October (way too long!) so it was a nice little reunion last night. Plus she had made her famous fried chicken, mashed potatoes, dumplings and peas...Needless to say, we were NOT hungry after we finished!
We are about to head to the pool for a little bit (SPF 50 and I'm covered!) but I wanted to update everyone on the upcoming events since I talked to the surgeon yesterday and today.
Memorial Sloan Kettering determined my left armpit, right neck to be positive for Melanoma. They found my left neck, right armpit to be negative.
On Monday, March 14th, I will have 3 appointments in New York. I will meet the head and neck surgeon, I will go through my pre-surgery testing, and I will have an MRI to determine what's going on in my liver (surgeon believes it is nothing to worry about!)
Then on March 24th I will have surgery.
I admitted to Mr. Spots I am starting to get nervous about the surgery.....
Anyway--enough 'C' word talk! I'm going to enjoy my vacation!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Just a Friendly Warning...
If you decide to brag to me
or someone who loves me
about going to the tanning bed,
please don't be surprised
if I slap you.
That's all.
*Obviously I *probably* won't hit you (unless I am having a really freaking bad day) however, have some common courtesy. You can live your life in any way that you want, I know that. But when I am fighting an unpredictable disease, and you are throwing a freaking tanning bed in my face, I will quickly lose any kind feelings towards you. There is just no excuse for that. End. Of. Story.
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