Proud American.

September 11, 2001, the day America was forever changed.

May 1, 2011, thanks to the intelligent minds, the dedicated troops, and the support of our nation, Osama bin Laden has been confirmed dead.

Let us all put our political beliefs aside. Be thankful for ALL of those who made this event happen. As my friend Rebecca said, "This isn't a moment for politics but a moment of patriotism. Despite your political views, let's celebrate America."

I pray the families who have lost loved ones find peace in knowing Osama bin Laden will now--finally--rot in hell.



Spring Cold = Success

That was quite the cold I had! It kicked me in the butt

One week later, I am finally feeling more like myself. The week of true downtime was very appreciated though. I believe I slept and watched more TV in the last week than I have in a very long time. Even after surgery, I was the little busy bee. I maybe took an hour nap a day, but that was it. No wonder I got sick, huh?

What did I learn from the the icky cold?

The movie Yogi Bear is much more funny for adults than children. I gigged...a lot.

The series Brothers & Sisters has me addicted.

Secretariat was much better than I even expected. Diane Lane is always a wonderful actress Although Mr. Spots was displeased with my decision to watch "another chick flick" he thoroughly enjoyed it.

Due Date was not nearly as funny as I had hoped for.

Country Song...I am glad I watched it. The ending left me with odd feelings. I think it was an accurate look at what happens to a lot of famous stars.

How Do You Know? I could have done without seeing it. I love Reese Witherspoon but even being drugged on cold medicine could not make that movie interesting.

So, yeah...lots of sleeping & tv watching took place this week. I needed it.

I have some exciting news to write about later; however, I need a nap! ;-) I guess my body got used to sleeping a lot this week.

Write soon.

And remember--as I will discuss in upcoming post this afternoon--May begins Skin Cancer Awareness Month. Wear sunscreen. Cancel your tanning membership. Encourage someone else to stop tanning. Wear big fabulous hats. Check your moles. Lather your babies in sunscreen! (Don't forget about your ears and toes when applying sunscreen!) Enjoy big, mysterious sunglasses because, yep, melanoma can be in your eye! Enjoy the sun...safely.

 Your skin is your body's largest organ---protect it.

Pass the Tissues, please.

Yes, this is basically what I look like right now...except I think my face is more swollen. Holy Moley! As the saying goes, I am full of cold! I am not the only one though. It seems like all of us are sick...Mom, my older sister, the boyfriend. Protect yourselves--stay away!

Yesterday I did the most independent thing I have done since my first surgery in January: I made the 6 hour drive from the Eastern Shore of VA to Roanoke! Although my Dad & Pop strongly advised me not to, Mom knew it was what I wanted. Everyone was worried I would become too exhausted or the pain in my arms would be too much. Although it was not pleasant, it was not the most horrible thing either. My left arm is not even swollen today! Progress! I have to admit, it felt pretty awesome being in the driver's seat again.

So, yeah. I am back in Roanoke for 6 days. I wanted to spend some time with Mr. Spots (the boyfriend, for those of you who haven't read the older posts!) organize my mail, get some clothes, etc. Once I arrived, I realized how sick Mr. Spots is also. Needless to say, last night consisted of us watching a movie on the couch with a box of tissues between us. Thank God for cold medicine! We were both able to sleep last night. It was not nearly as romantic as I would have liked for the night to be, but, if I am going to be stuck in the house with a cold, I am glad to be stuck next to him.

My insurance company, "And.Them." is being ridiculous again....If they would all get on the same page, they could save themselves a lot of time and money. They approved my latest surgery, but denied the pathology part of it for a "pre-existing" condition. The also have denied my latest visit with the dermatologist for a "pre-existing condition." Seriously, if I am going to have to call them and casually remind them that I got diagnosed with melanoma in January of  THIS year, that is unacceptable to me. They already have my medical records. I am not sure why they don't access them. How do they run a successful company? Fighting with them is becoming a full time job!

Since I just had yet another sneeze fit, I am going to cut this post short.

Oh--one last thing--the emails I have received from you all  mean so much to me. We have to stick together! I learn more from you all than I do from any medical article I find. Knowledge is power, and we need as much power as we can get. XO

Going Postal!

*thanks, Rich, author of http://hotelmelanoma.blogspot.com/, for the title of this post!

My granny wearing her shirt around the Island

Apparently today was unofficially the day to wear the "Someone I love has melanoma" t-shirt. You would think the shirt would promote awareness, questions, concerns. Not giggles.

Someone laughed at a "Someone I love has melanoma" t-shirt?

She sure did.

Mom went into the post office this morning, nothing unusual about that, and walks up to the counter. The overly tan woman reads Mom's shirt out loud..."Someone I love has melanoma!" And begins to laugh.

Mom: "Yeah, my daughter."

The woman stops laughing. "Oh.... Oh. I'm sorry. I knew you hadn't been yourself lately."

Usually I can find a sarcastic way to interpret things. Normally I can try to see the other side of the situation. As hard as I have tried, I cannot understand why she would laugh at the t-shirt. What about "Someone I love has melanoma" is funny? How can that statement even induce a chuckle? Does she, Mrs. Super-Tan-Postal-Worker, think melanoma is a myth? Does she even know what melanoma is? I am not trying to call the woman stupid, but c'mon!

Luckily I did not have to bail Mom out of jail for attacking her. I mean, like I have said 100 times, you can't fight stupid.

Mom went back into the post office later this afternoon, the laughing woman was still working, and proceeded to explain to Mom that she knows people who have had multiple melanoma's removed off of their bodies and they are just fine. Mom said she did not say a word. I know that not everyone understands the seriousness of melanoma...I used to be one of them. God knows I wish I could have just had a dermatologist use his knife and remove something off of me. Instead, 2 major surgeries, lots of radiation and contrast later, and I am just now beginning on my NED (No Evidence of Disease) road. How long that road will last, I do not know. I am doing every thing in my power to make it last for many, many years.

One of my sorority sisters made a good point. She said, "if something isn't pink or doesn't say "save the tatas" people dont seem to take it seriously. I think people need a wake up call as to how many millions of people are battling cancer every day and just how many types there are... and none of them are a laughing matter. ignorance/stupidity is a shame."

I could not have said it better myself, Kristen!

Seriously....I do not know how many times I have to say it. (And don't worry, I am not going to stop anytime soon!)

 It is so much more than "just" skin cancer.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter, friends!

I hope you all had a wonderful, relaxing day surrounded by those you love. If your weather was as beautiful there as it was here, I sure hope you wore your sunscreen! (And please tell me you covered your babies with sunscreen while they went out on their egg hunt...don't forget about the kids!) 

It was a beautiful day on the Eastern Shore of VA so I lathered up in SPF 50, grabbed my book, and went out by the pool for a bit. Although almost completely covered, I have to admit I was still a bit nervous being out in the sunshine. I stayed out for about 20 minutes then gave into my fear and sat back in the shade. It felt good to get a few minutes of fresh air!

We had a very quiet family dinner today. All of the family is spread out, boyfriend is with his family in Roanoke, so it was very laid back. Mom did not slack on the food though...yum, yum, yum!

None of us complained about the quiet day. My older sister, my gran, my mom, and I all have nasty colds. There is a whole lot of coughing going on in this household! Stay away from us, protect yourself from our germs! ;-)

I received an awesome suggestion from one of my blog readers. She read my post about lympedema and suggested propping my arm up and using a squeeze ball! What is so random about that is that I had recently told my Step Dad I felt like I needed a squeeze ball because of the throbbing pain in my left hand. Who knew it would actually help?! Looks like I will be on a mission to find the ball tomorrow...Although I rested all day yesterday, the swelling was pretty intense on my left ribcage today. Lots of fluid, I suppose.

I am going to go drug myself on cold medicine and rest. I hope you all had a special day.

XO

Dr. Glinda...And My Need For Rest!

My boyfriend's sister gave this to me!

Reminder--Dr. Glinda is my surgeon at

Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

I named her Glinda because of her beautiful smile,

curly blonde hair,

and the fact that she was my "good witch."

She brought me peace of mind.

To finish off my busy day at MSK, I had my post-op appointment with Dr. Glinda on Friday. It is always such a pleasure to see her. I cannot express how grateful I am that she is my surgeon.

I have mentioned the pain that is continuing to get worse in my left arm. It tends to be extremely painful and swollen at night, causes my hand to throb, and basically just feels uncomfortable. Dr. Glinda noticed right away the difference in my left hand compared to my right hand. (So, that's why they are always observing my hands...) She felt around the incision sites, looked at my arm, the left side of my rib cage, etc. I have some fluid build up which I had already suspected.

Since I only had the arm drains for 6 days, it should come as no surprise that there is a build up. We were hoping it would not happen, but it comes as no shock. Most people have to keep their drains for multiple weeks. For whatever reason, my body was not producing a great deal of fluid so we removed them before I headed back to Virginia.

So, lymphedema, what do I do about it?

Since it has only been 4 weeks from surgery, and I was not supposed to truly be active until week 8, we are going to wait a week or 2 and see if it gets better. If not, I am going to find a physical therapist who can instruct me on excersies to help my range of motion (which is limited right now...) and to do a special type of massage therapy. I am not excited about the possibility of massage therapy. Right now, it HURTS when someone touches the back of my arm. However, I know that lymphedema is chronic and if it gets worse, it will not get better. I want to stop it before it reaches that point!

Dr. Glinda made a good point yesterday...I cannot fear the sun. "Your days of laying out in the sun are over, of course, but a healthy amount of vitamin D is good for you." I admitted that I am a bit paranoid about the sun right now which she said is totally understandable. I still spent time by the pool when I was in Florida. I wear short sleeve shirts when I go outside. But you can bet I am careful...I think that is only normal. I have been expecting the doctors to kindly remind me to stay out of the sunshine, so I was pleasantly surprised with how realistic she is.

Then I got a nice mini lecture from Dr. Glinda. She reminded me that I need to pay more attention to my body. When I am tired, I need to rest. I need to stop behaving like I am completely healed because it takes a body 6-8 weeks to heal after surgery. I don't think I truly know how to relax. I try...but I always find something to clean, someone to see. I see the toll it is taking on me though. Lesson learned: LISTEN TO MY BODY!

The appointment was a good one...The incision under my arm and on the right side of my neck are both healing perfectly. I am going to rest, keep my arm propped up, and try to lose the fluid! I definitely do not want to risk having the drain put in again. That thing was horrible enough the first time! ;-)

I Should Not Judge But..........

**This post was taken a little too seriously by someone so I thought I would post a warning: Obviously, this is just my opinion of a woman I observed for ten minutes. No, I did not actually want to slap her. She just annoyed me because of her public negativity. There are certain things that should take place behind closed doors---definitely not in front of fellow cancer patients who are hanging on to any hope they can find. Now please---read on. And don't always take me so seriously....goodness! I tend to be a bit sarcastic about my experience...it makes it less scary! ;-)

While waiting for my appointment on Friday, I was seated across from a woman and her parents. I am always curious about other people in the waiting room. How advanced is their cancer? How are they handling the anxiety and depression that comes with the territory? Are they in remission?

This woman did not make me curious. She was having an open (and rude) conversation with her parents. She was a pretty lady, maybe in her mid 30's, demanding her father promise her that everything is going to be OK. Now...at first I thought, "Oh man. This breaks my heart." Then I thought about it some more. How cruel of her to ask someone to promise that everything is going to be OK. Her poor father looked stressed out enough. I mean, he is there with his daughter--who appeared to be quite the Daddy's Girl--in a top cancer center. I guarantee you he wishes nothing more than to be able to promise her that she will be "OK." I understand we sometimes need to hear "you are going to be fine." Maybe it was the way she behaved that bothered me more than her selfish request. If she had been nicer about it, my heart probably would have broken for her. Instead, her nasty attitude made me raise my eyebrows.

Then she looks at her Mother & starts discussing how things are getting worse, not better, that there is no sense in buying summer clothes because basically she does not know if she will be here or not. Talk about a debbie freaking downer. Yes, I do not know her situation. They may have given her 3 months to live---but based on the attitude of her parents, I have a feeling this woman just has a nasty attitude. Don't get me wrong, having cancer freaking sucks no matter how advanced it is. But, why waste the time you are given being downright rude to those who love you? She was ready to bury her own self. When her mother patiently reminded her how far a positive attitude can take her, she made a smart remark.

Quite frankly, she pissed me off. I wanted to slap some sense into her. She may have a terminal disease that will only allow her a few more months to live. But, she was still able to get from point A to point B. She was able to make herself pretty for her doctors appointment. She was stable enough to belittle her parents in a waiting room full of curious people.(This is obviously what bothered me most about this woman.) She made me angry, but at the same time I feel so sorry for her. She must be absolutely miserable being that miserable!  I wanted to show her my friends who feel so horrible they can't take their kids to school, but can still laugh daily. I wish she could see the warriors who are, in fact, stage IV cancer patients, but still make the extra effort to be there for their friends. I wanted to remind her that her parents did not have to be at that appointment with her, they made the decision to be. Give them some respect, lady. Even if you do feel crappy, don't be hurtful. I think life is tough enough.

The point of sharing this story is that I honestly believe a positive attitude can do wonders for you, not just with cancer but with your daily life. Things get scary sometimes. I have days where I am terrified. Days where I am ticked off at the world. I embrace with those feelings, and then I deal with it. If people crumbled because of one bad thing (no matter how horrible it is) happened to them, well, we would be surrounded by a lot of miserable people, huh?

The truth is, sh*t happens sometimes. That is a part of life. You accept it, you deal with it, and you move on in any type of way you can.

I sure hope she finds the peace that she so obviously needs.

OK. Rant over.