Monday, February 3, 2014

Words From a Friend

Sometimes I receive emails from people that I automatically know I'll become friends with. This was one of those situations. Having read her story, I knew that it was one that needed to be shared with all of you.  I'm so thankful she agreed to let me share it! So please, meet Chelsea, and share her words with someone who needs to hear them.


 "When I ran across Chelsea’s blog, I knew I wanted to know her. You see, not only do Chelsea and I share the same name, we also share an unfair diagnosis, which for both of us, is oddly in the same spot on our backs. I saw the picture of Chelsea’s scar that looked exactly like mine and felt an instant connection to this stranger miles away. When she asked me to share my story, I was a little nervous, because before now, I’ve never put it on paper. The feelings of it, well, they are just overwhelmingly strong, but the truth is, it needs to be told.
I’m one of the lucky ones, they say.  I never had to undergo chemo or radiation, and all my lymph nodes are still in place, but the truth of the matter is that melanoma changed me completely.  I was diagnosed at 18 during my freshman year of college.  The year prior was full of events that required me to be in evening gowns. There was prom, then the yearly pageant my school held, and don’t forget about those awful vocal music dresses that surely looked better on me when my skin was tan. Those moments in a tanning bed, defined my future.  While my friends were vacationing during Spring Break, I was undergoing a wide excision surgery to remove six inches of skin on my back all the way down to the muscle. This surgery was my cure, but it wasn’t completely healing, because the emotional scar runs a bit deeper and has lasted far longer.
The misconception associated with the word melanoma is that it will simply be cut out and everything  will be fine. I can’t tell you how many of my friends spoke those exact words to me when I shared my diagnosis with them.  Quite frankly, until I had my doctor tell me that there may be a chance that I could only have five to seven years left to live depending on my test results, I didn’t understand the severity either.  My friends couldn’t understand the situation I was in and it wasn’t because I had surrounded myself with people weren’t able to feel empathy; it was because they simply weren’t educated.
My family, they became my saviors, the people I laughed with to distract me from the constant terror I felt in my stomach, the people who held me when I cried, and the people who found strength  for me when I couldn’t find it in myself. In fact, it was my mom, who saved me. She was the one who had noticed the mole on my upper back that had gradually became dark black and she was the one who called me with the information from the doctor of my diagnosis. Often times, I still wonder how she found the strength to call me, her only daughter, to tell me I had cancer.  My melanoma diagnosis didn’t just emotionally scar me; it scarred every person in my family.
Life after melanoma is different to say the least. I’m far more cautious and I’m often fearful of reoccurrence. For the rest of my life, every six months, I will visit my dermatologist. I sit undressed in a brightly lit exam room while my doctor goes over every inch of my skin. These checks, more often than not, end with a biopsy of a something that looks suspicious leaving an open wound on my skin that takes weeks to heal. I then prepare myself to tell my loved ones that we are, yet again waiting on pathology reports. The chance of reoccurrence for me is 2% and while that may seem like a very small number, it is actually quite large in relation to melanoma.
I never dreamed that before I graduated college and said I do, I would be a cancer survivor, but it is my reality. I often have to remind myself to slow things down because facing a diagnosis that could have ended in death caused a horrible sense of urgency for me. Sometimes I have to take a moment to remember that I don’t have to live life so fast because God has given me more time and a chance to leave a legacy. I wasn’t lucky, I was blessed and I feel strongly that I am meant to educate others on how to care for your skin.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t educated on the effects of tanning, but don’t let that be your excuse. Don’t be like me. Your desire shouldn’t be getting tan. Your desire should be to stay alive. Educate yourself before you find yourself in a situation that educates you."  

Please take Chelsea's words and educate someone else on the true dangers of tanning. A big thanks to you, Chelsea, for sharing your story with others! I know it's scary to put yourself out there, but by telling your story, I know you'll save lives. XOXO

10 comments:

Mama Steg said...

Thanks for posting this, Chelsea! It is always nice to hear others' stories, there are so many out there. And, so many people don't understand, so it's nice for us to hear from someone else who is going through the same thing. I love what she says about educating yourself before you find yourself in a situation that educates you...so true; especially for the young people out there. Thanks!

Megan Diehl said...

To both Chelsea's, you both are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending you both positive thoughts and smiles.

Rebs said...

I also am one of the "lucky" ones that didn't need Chemo and was diagnosed Stage 2. But because I was pregnant the surgeon cut deeper and wider than needed just to be sure, after putting at least half dozen locals into my back (ouch!). I had a Lymph Node Biopsy when my son was few months old and thankfully it came back ok, but has left me with severe nerve pain which at times can be debilitating. I also get intense pain at times where the tissue and muscle is missing in my back.

No matter the staging, no matter the outcome of the Cancer itself, it leaves it's mark. And that mark is not only physical but emotional. It never goes away, but we do learn to live with it. We have no other choice.

Unknown said...

This story is exactly like mine. Thanks for sharing both Chelsea's :)

Sarah said...

I can relate to every emotion in this story. I too was lucky enough to only have to have the surgery. Rebs, thank you for pointing out that it doesn't matter the stage, cancer always leaves it's mark. That couldn't be more true. Thanks for sharing!

Sarah said...

I can relate to every emotion in this story. I too was lucky enough to only have to have the surgery. Let's keep educating! Thanks for sharing!

Lisa Hanley said...

Very well written. Thank you!

Memories by TLC said...

Thank you for taking time to share your story. I can relate in so many ways. In Aug of 2013 at age 38 (I am the Mom of two young boys) I too was diagnosed with Melanoma...a mole my husband thought "looked funny". I was fortunate that mine was also cured with a wide excision (mine was on my neck) but you put into words exactly the roller coaster of emotions I have experienced. I see my dermatologist every 3 months now and each visit my stomach flips upside down. I was fortunate enough to have had mole mapping done (where they photograph every inch of your body) and each visit my dermatologist examines my hundreds of moles and compares the "funny looking ones" to the ones on my CD of images to make sure they haven't changed. It feels like time stands still during those visits. I truly appreciate you sharing your story....stay strong.

Catherine W said...

Thank you!!!!! I so needed this today. I am 9 months out from surgery. I have a 6 1/2 scar on my face and neck. It has been the scariest experience of my life. I thought I was the only one who felt this way.....that people think once it is cut out you are cured. I had some great support, but still felt more alone than I have ever been in my life. I am terrified still every day. I wish the world could understand, it is not as simple as they think. My melanoma grew so quickly and had such a high mitotic rate I get to be seen every 2 to 3 months for skin checks. Thankfully, this past week showed nothing suspicious. I pray for all of us, we can continue to be free of this demon of melanoma.

Dauhnna Martin said...

I loved reading your story and am thankful they found yours early enough to not need chemo. I was stage 3a at the age of 27 and I had a newborn baby at the time of diagnosis. That was 11 years ago. You are spot on when you say life is never the same. I miss that old carefree life but in the same breath I can say I appreciate the new life I have with a vigor I never imagined possible. I love seeing all of my fellow melanoma warriors post and wish I could hug you all. Stay healthy my friends.