In My Face

There once was a gal who valued a tan. She tanned before prom, graduation, and vacations. She tanned before summer break so that she would get a "base tan." She tanned to make her skin, as society determined was the prettiest, bronzed.

Y'all know all of that. I have never denied my tanning history nor have I ever played the victim because of my melanoma diagnosis. I know I screwed up and made some really shitty decisions that I will forever pay for. 

 You don't have to be a radiologist to know you're not supposed to glow like that.

While I am all about protecting my skin, my family members skin, and encouraging others to do so via the Internet, I am not pushy about it in my every day life. I don't pass a sunscreen bottle around the bleachers at my step son's baseball game. (Although I cheered a little when someone else did.) I don't lecture my co-worker about her obvious burn. Unless you're friends with me on Facebook or stumble upon my blog, chances are you don't know I go to NY every 3 months to see my oncologist. Unless you already know about it, you can bet I don't share my melanoma story with you until I consider you a friend. That's just not how I am. I don't want to be that girl who is always yelling at the co-worker she barley knows about his weekend at the beach.

However, if you are friends with me on Facebook, you know I preach sun safety and my true hatred for tanning beds. I try not to be obnoxious, but I'm certainly aware that I probably am. ;-)

Having said all of that, I can't help but cringe when folks come up to me and say, "I thought of you this weekend. I said to my husband, 'Chelsea's going to get mad at me for getting a sunburn" or "You are going to be mad at me, but I'm going to go to the tanning bed just for a few times." I never know how to react because I want to keep the friendly and professional relationships, but I really want to be like "Whyyyyyyyyyyyy do you tell me these things?!" If I saw your sunburn--and I always see the sunburns--I would never say a word. If I noticed your obvious fake and bake sessions, you can bet I wouldn't mumble a sound about it. While I like to raise awareness, I know there is a time and a place for it. But throwing it in my face? Making a point to tell me the things you know I will get upset about? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?! Ahhhhh!

So I started thinking about it today. Let's say I had lung cancer. Would my associate come up to me and say, "I thought of you today when I bought a new pack of cigarettes"? Would the stranger I see once a month say, "I only smoke when I drink" as if that is an excuse for her bad habit? Or would that be in poor taste?

Am I supposed to just be like "Oh OK!" because it's just a tan? Big deal?

If UV rays from tanning beds are class 1 carcinogens, just like tobacco, why can we make excuses for our poor decisions just because we want to look good at the country club?

I make a point to keep my cancer outside of certain areas in my life, but when I hear these confessions, I can't help but speak up. Obviously these folks know their decisions are poor choices, yet they make them anyway. And really, that's on them. It's their skin, their biggest organ. (And yet, the sensitive girl buried inside of me can't help but feel the sting. You don't have to make better life decisions just because I got melanoma, but you could refrain from telling me about those decisions. I had to learn my lesson the hard way which is why I put time and effort into sharing my experience.)

Maybe next time, instead of almost asking for my understanding, they will apply the extra sunscreen and cancel the damn tanning membership.

A girl can hope, can't she?

*Disclaimer: This isn't about a particular event. These types of comments are made weekly. DisclaimerX2: You should know by now there's always a chance YOU will end up on my blog. ;-)

XO.

(And yes, I realize it's been forever since I've blogged. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Life is good--yet very, very, very busy!) 

Melanoma Awareness Month

I pretty much suck as a melanoma blogger lately, but I'm currently a fabulous life liver! ;-) I'm sorry that I have been so MIA. My sister got married, my sorority sister got married, we picked a date for our wedding, and we're super involved with T-Ball for the kiddo. (Yep, I am even the Team Mom!) Life is filled with many things I love, but that also means I am supporting melanoma awareness month!

 

I am sure most of you have heard the outrage from the melanoma community about the recent campaign  called Melanoma Monday.. The American Academy of Dermatology has asked that folks wear orange on May 6, 2013 in efforts to raise awareness about melanoma. This seems a bit odd to most of us as orange is not the color of our cancer, black is. The American Academy of Dermatology has replied to our anger by saying their desire is to bring awareness to all skin cancers, and that orange is a color that catches attention. They have asked that we make a  fashion statement by wearing orange. 

While I appreciate that they are using their organization to raise awareness about melanoma,  I do wish they would have used black as the color instead. They are calling the campaign Melanoma Monday, not Skin Cancer Monday, so the color technically should be black. Maybe I'm stubborn, but I will be fashionable on May 6th in black for the color of the disease that has taken too many of my melanoma friends from me.

How do you plan to raise melanoma awareness this month?

Hope you are all well! 

XO

'Tis The Season

Melanoma Awareness is in the air! Ever since Tan Mom made her way into the headlines last spring, I have noticed more magazines mentioning the dangers of tanning. Sometimes it's a blurb in the skin care section, other times it's in the celebrity gossip area, and sometimes there are times when magazines will have full articles! Speaking of which, have you picked up Glamour's May edition? It's AWESOME.

 

I'm telling ya, this is a must read! Go pick up your copy today.

My point is, with the warm weather we are beginning to experience, people are talking about tanning. Some are talking about the need to tan, others are reminding people not to tan! Just search on Twitter, you will see both sides.

Just yesterday I was tagged in a post on Twitter by a fellow blogger. I am always a little nervous about Twitter because I have some tanning bed lovers who sometimes like to start Twitter wars. I was pleasantly surprised when I began reading "A Rant."  Helene doesn't blog about melanoma in her free times, her blog isn't dedicated to melanoma awareness, and she has a lot of followers who probably still believe in the 'healthy glow.' She risked losing followers last night with her post on tanning. What has made her so sensitive to this topic? Her dad has melanoma.

I was so impressed with Helene's courage to share her "rant" knowing that tanning is still a subject that makes folks a little defensive. I noticed she had a lot of comments on her post so I had to read them. I quickly realized how much has changed in just the 2 years since I have battled melanoma. People are (slowly) realizing that the fake and bake lifestyle is a thing of the past! I was SHOCKED how many people commented with opinions similar to mine. Usually it's the opposite. These aren't melanoma warriors, these are young women! Go Helene for sharing her words. I bet she had no idea how many people would relate!

Bring on warmer weather...and melanoma awareness!

 

Jilly's Jems

There are times when I don't feel like I should share other people's stories, this is one of those times. Susan tells their story in a way that touches your heart and causes the tears--even the happy tears--to fall. However, I have so many faithful readers and so many good souls who follow this blog that I have to introduce you to a special family and ask you to keep hem your thoughts, well wishes, and prayers.

I also beg you to share their story.

Jilly's Jems Facebook Page

For the life of me I cannot remember how I "met" Susan. I believe Susan had posted on a forum about her young daughter and how she refused to let melanoma rule her life and I commented because the post spoke to me. I was only 23 at the time, angry and scared of the unknown. Seeing Susan mention how Jillian wanted to continue on with school and her apartment living made me think I could do it too. Regardless of how we met, in the two years I've "known" Susan, she has continued to amaze me with her inner strength, the love she has for her children, and her true determination at getting the word out about the seriousness of melanoma. This is a mother who during her father's last few days on Earth asked him, "Dad, when you get to Heaven, will you wait for Jillian and be there for her when she gets to Heaven too? Will you give her a big hug from her mama? I want to be able to tell her that you and I spoke about it, and that you will be waiting for her". She is real and honest. (To read more about The Promise: http://jilliansjourneywithmelanoma.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-promise.html)

Susan is one determined Mama Bear!

This billboard, and others, have been in numerous places like Michigan & North Carolina!

Anyway, I'm sure Susan is itching for me to stop talking about her, so let me give you a brief introduction to the beautiful Jillian. She's 23 years old, newly married, and has been gracefully battling stage IV melanoma since 2010. Last night she was told that the chemo is not working. Jillian is 23 years old, the brain mets are inoperable and the chemo is not working. She has heard the words, "It will take a miracle for you to survive." Yet, she fought on. She has lived life with a laugh, a hug for her mama, and an independent streak that causes me smile every time Susan mentions it.

I don't know what's next for this beautiful family, but as Melanoma Prayer Center posted today on their Facebook page: "Please, when the time comes, never say "Jillian lost her battle." Jillian will not lose at all. Her motto is "fall seven times, stand eight." When melanoma knocks her down that final time here on earth, she will not only STAND at Heaven's Gates, she'll run through them a WINNER! She's got her granddaddy waiting for her and Jesus will welcome her. Sounds like a winner to me!"

To Jillian and her family, we send our love and prayers.

Susan's blog: Jillian's Journey with Melanoma: A Mother's Story

Jilly's Jems on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/JillysJems?ref=si_shop