Showing posts with label molemates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label molemates. Show all posts

Monday, June 3, 2013

Online Friends: They're Real To Me.

I was browsing CNN today during my break at work this afternoon when the headline "When a Facebook Friend Dies" caught my attention. I thought the article was going to discuss proper etiquette for those of us who use social media. Like many of us, I struggle with knowing what to say when there are no words that can truly provide comfort. I had to read the article.



Frida Ghitis writes about online friendships and the assumption that online friends can't possibly be real friends. She says, "I have often used quotation marks in the past when referring to a Facebook "friend" with more than a touch of sarcasm. Are Facebook connections really friends?"

Yep, I've used that sarcasm before. I used to roll my eyes when people talked about meeting friends online. How could you possibly know them? How can you form such an emotional connection with someone you've never met? Then I met my Mole-Mates.

While I will never have the opportunity to meet every single friend I've made in the melanoma community, I cherish their friendship. I enjoy hearing about their celebrations, their joy, their lives. My heart aches for them when life doesn't go as they wanted. They are friends to me in ways that some of the people I see on a daily basis will never be.

Ghitis explains it well, "Online, people express themselves with a special openness. They don't have to wait their turn to speak, and the ones with small voices or introverted personalities can convey big, profound, touching emotions. Online we can develop a kind of intimacy that eluded us in the nonvirtual world. On social media, we can share -- as Jim so often did -- big and small parts of our life, without worrying that others are too busy or simply not interested in hearing it."

These friendships built online saved me from the big scary unknown, Melanoma, and I'm grateful for them every single day.

Read the article.

 http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/03/opinion/ghitis-facebook-friend-dies/index.html?hpt=hp_t4



Thursday, April 4, 2013

Drama Girl

My doctor goes on vacation, I find a new melanoma, drama erupts! What does he expect? For me to behave while he's gone on a much needed vacation? Ha! Teasing, Dr. D., I could have done without that experience.

I wrote about how I received the phone call from Sloan Kettering stating that I was no longer able to participate in the ipi/placebo clinical trial since I had new evidence of disease. Yes, they were told by my dermatologist that it was an in-situ melanoma. Still, kicked out of the trial, the nurse said.

The Monday that my doctor returned from vacation the same nurse called and said that it was determined that because my new primary was an in-situ, I am not disqualified from the trial. 

I was confused about what I wanted to do. I was relieved because I wanted to continue the trial for the reasons I mentioned the other day. I was worried that I needed to do more or that it wasn't worth my time.

Like always, my oncologist helped answer my questions.

When I was waiting in the room for my appointment, my oncologist stuck his head in the room & told me that my scans were clear. Because he knows his patients, he knows I can't relax until I hear the results. (Yes, he also knows he has me spoiled & that the moment he doesn't come in before my scheduled time, I am going to know something is wrong. We've set up a bad habit, but I love him for it.) Then I met with the head research nurse who I had only heard about from my friend Julie. I mentioned to the nurse that I had not met her before, and she said, no, but I know who you are! Apparently, I caused a bit of drama with the doctors at Memorial Sloan Kettering last week. There was apparently a 4 day debate about whether I should be allowed to continue the clinical trial or not. I'm not sure who stood where or why, but it was ruled that because an in-situ melanoma is not invasive, I should continue as planned. The drug is designed to treat metastatic disease and has no control over new non-invasive melanomas which is why we must keep our scheduled appointments with our dermatologists! (Remember, early detection IS key!)

Because the research nurse has a lot of experience with folks on this trial she was able to answer a lot of my questions and provide me with information I had not heard before. For example, remember that weird facial swelling I had on a few occasions after my last infusion in December? Although rare, has seen that in other patients. The joint pain in my hands, normal side effect. The inflammation of my lymph nodes 2-3 weeks after every single infusion = totally expected.

See, these were all things that no one had really talked to me about. I don't call with problems, but I've called Sloan (and headed to my local oncologist in tears) after almost every infusion regarding the swelling. Finally, someone tells me to expect it!

When my oncologist came in for our appointment I jumped up to hug him and told him he's no longer allowed to take a vacation. He said he knows, that when he goes away, I cause trouble. We started chatting later and he said that while his much needed vacation lowered his blood pressure, he couldn't escape wifi so he checked his email. "Every time I checked my email I had 60 new emails & 20 of them were about Chelsea Price!" Oops.

I asked him point blank if he thinks we should continue what we are doing and he flat out said yes.

There was no debate.

Yes, continue what we are doing. In May 2013, it will be 2 years since I started the clinical trial & we have a year to go after that. None of us know if I am getting the drug or the placebo, but whatever we are doing is working for me at this time. I can't risk changing that.

I headed into the Chemo Suite 2 hours behind schedule only to have a nurse that my veins are not used to. Boy, after the lab folks having to use 3 veins for blood and the chemo nurses using 3, I was mildly annoyed.







 Sorry, doctors, that I caused a little confusion, but hey, that's why you earn the big bucks, right?! (Best story I heard: Julie asked her doctor how he does this--delivering the bad news--every day. He told her that he does it with hopes of delivering good news! *OK, I may have that a little wrong, we did split a bottle of wine, but that was the main point. He's there to give us our lives back.)


Speaking of Julie......... Not only did I get some QT in with my mom, I also got to visit with Julie and her mom! Remember Julie? (Please continue to pray for her.) We had dinner in Little Italy & laughed, laughed, and laughed! Seriously, the waiter kept laughing at us laughing! There were extra long hugs, maybe a few blinked away tears, but mostly there was laughter.



A good trip, answers to my questions, and meeting up with ladies I admire = one great week.

Have a lovely weekend, friends!

Monday, February 4, 2013

I Stand For Julie

I am completely out of ink & my printer has not even been plugged in since we've moved so I am missing the opportunity to hold up my Stand Up To Cancer sign! Please know that I stand for anyone who has ever been touched by the big C in one way or another. I stand for my Grand Daddy who died from lung cancer. I stand for the precious children who are learning new types of chemo instead of new playground games. I stand for the beautiful girl who dances around the oncology suite singing Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger."  I stand for my male melanoma warriors who wear tutus to 5K's.
I stand for us all.

Tonight I wish to honor a special friend. Tonight, and every other night, I stand for Julie.

 Summer 2011

Julie and I met in the Spring of 2011 when our mutual surgeon--our beautiful Dr. Charlotte Ariyan emailed me and asked if I would mind if she gave one of her other patients my email and blog address. Julie had recently been diagnosed with stage III malignant melanoma and was terrified. Knowing that Julie and I are close in age, both struggling to emotionally handle our new cancer diagnosis,  Dr. Ariyan felt like we could be great resources to one another. She was right.

Julie and I have been enrolled in the same clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center for the last year and a half. We compare experiences, we joke about the vampires who steal our blood, we cheer one another on.

Just 2 weeks ago I was cheering on Julie from Virginia as she married her best friend.

 (Both photos legally stolen from Julie's Facebook.
Thanks, Julie!)


On Wednesday while I was washing dishes I received the text I never wanted: "Chels, not good news at all. I have spots in my liver, spleen, and lymph node in lungs."

Shit.

My melanoma twin, my melanoma friend, the girl who just got back from her honeymoon has advanced to stage IV melanoma.

 How could it be, we wondered? She just had scans 2 and a half months ago where she showed no evidence of  disease. Now, not even 3 months later, melanoma has spread to her internal organs.

They tell us that it can happen. They warn us that it is likely to happen. Melanoma is a silent beast, they claim. Yet, even when we're prepared, we don't expect it. Then it happens. 

Tonight--on World Cancer Day--I felt it is important for you to hear Julie's story. A young girl, a former tanner, a brand new bride is beginning the battle of her life against Melanoma. Yes,Melanoma...that thing that people still believe is just skin cancer.



 I stand for you, Julie. It's time to fight, girlfriend, and we're all holding your hand.




*I received Julie's permission to share her news days prior to writing this post.




Wednesday, August 1, 2012

My Kind of Heroes


 
 
 I'm feeling emotional this week. Happy, grateful, blessed, and...well, happy. While I am in love with those feelings, it tends to make me a bit sappy. Please deal with it. ;-) I need to share something with you.
 
I have not been shy about the amazing friends I have made during my journey with melanoma. When I say that I would not be in this happy place today had I not met these wonderful people online, it's true. Ask Mr. Spots. I was an emotional basket case filled with unspoken fears before I met these people. (Seriously, I was probably super annoying. Oops.) I already have such an incredible "real life" support team; however, I need to surround myself with people who know what I am going through. 

(Thank you, Internet inventors, for allowing me the ability to meet friends all over the world! Yay, internet!)

I recently had an article due for Everyday Health. The topic was "Cancer Stories." It took me less than 5 minutes to decide that I needed to write about the people who make this cancer a lot less scary: I needed to write about my friends.
 
My friends are heroes because despite having their own battles to fight, they take the time to cheer the rest of us on. They don't shy away from melanoma talk even though they are doing well. They comfort, they offer advice, and they encourage us to keep living our lives. They make life a little bit easier for the rest of us.
 
Although this article is really for all of my melanoma buddies--especially those of you who are actively using your voice to spread awareness--it is especially dedicated to a few friends. This article is dedicated to the faithful reverend who comforts me with her prayers and strong advice, to the beautiful mother who is constantly cheering the rest of us on, to the sweet grandfather who also has his own Chelsea in his life, and to the  retired lawyer who is actually pretty darn hilarious (and secretly sweet!).

Thank you for your friendship.



*Read my articles on Everyday Health: http://www.everydayhealth.com/cancer/melanormal-living-with-melanoma.aspx