Life's Coincidences

When I'm not raising boys, building a business, or browsing social media like it is my job, I am a residency coordinator at a teaching hospital. I enjoy my job. It introduces me to all sorts of people, from all sorts of places. Seeing these medical students and residents learn, hearing their passion and enthusiasm, it gives me such hope for our future. These people are smart, y'all.

Recently I was making small talk with my new chief resident. Nothing out of the ordinary, small talk. I asked him about his interests, where he hopes to end up--surgical oncology--and his future plans. We're walking through a long tunnel and he says that he matched with a surgical oncology fellowship at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and will be working with my Dr. Glinda.

Jaw dropped.

Readers from the early days know Dr. Glinda, AKA in real life as Dr. Charlotte Ariyan. I absolutely, positively adore her. Dr. Ariyan's kindness, intelligence, awesome surgical skills, and bed side manners made her a super hero in my book.

So, of course I had to tell this resident my story.

Now it was his turn to drop his jaw.  "You're very fair skin..I guess you take care of your skin?"

The conversation lead to the most recent research out of MSK: "The results of a new study indicate that immediate surgical removal of remaining lymph nodes does not improve survival compared with a watch-and-wait approach." It was very interesting to hear his thought process and then have him ask for my treatment experience and opinion.

If you have any doubt that research is benefiting melanoma patients, this is proof.  Dr. Ariyan co-authored this study. 6.5 years ago, Dr. Ariyan helped me reach the conclusion to have the surgery. OK, I shouldn't say she helped me reach the decision. She basically told me in her very kind way that it comes down to what I'm comfortable with. She explained that if we did the surgery, I would know if there was remaining cancer in my lymph nodes. That would change things in terms of available clinical trials and statistics. We sat in that examine room and talked about the many side effects that could occur if we choose to proceed with the surgery. She gave me the info...and then she talked to me like a friend.

I have no regrets about going through with the two full lymph node dissections. I'm one of the lucky ones. The lasting side effects are pretty much non-existent. How would I feel now if this research had been available then? I don't know.

Anyway...I love life's coincidences. Oh--and I have total faith in this resident. ...I just have no desire to see him in a non-educational setting. ;-)

Healing

I thought I would take a break from all the boyfriend QT to post an update on my healing process.

All in all, I am doing much better than the last surgery. I know that this surgery was more intense; however, last time I was cut in 5 locations rather than 2. Last time I had to have a little butt push to get off the couch. This time I am moving around a little easier. I definitely notice an overall lack of strength. By the time I take a shower, I need a 2 hour nap. Showering is probably the most painful thing I have done so far. Washing my hair is pretty much a nightmare since I have trouble lifting my left arm that high. And having someone wash it for me? Well, that would be lovely...except for the fact that I am super sensitive on the right side of my head and face. My ear is very painful! Because of the nerves that were cut, there was quite a bit of damage. Some of the numbness and pain will go away with time. I sure hope the pain in my ear vanishes...soon...I am an earring whore! I will never feel pretty again if I can't wear earrings! ;-)

The rash is finally starting to heal. It is still bothering me but nothing like it was. And my little bullet holes, as I like to call them, are healing. Hopefully with the help of this Fluocinonide cream I will get rid of the rash soon. I am praying it does not leave a scar...You can still see where I had the rash around my arms following the last surgery.

So, what's next? Minus resting! I have an appointment in New York to see The Wizard, my oncologist, on April 22nd. He wanted to give me a few weeks before we start anything else. The appointment is to discuss the clinical trials that I am eligible for. If I decide to do the ipi trial (Which I will) it is possible I can receive the treatment in Charlotte, NC. I see the pros and cons of trading locations. At Sloan Kettering, I am already familiar with the area and the doctors. I like the center and the doctors. However, it is VERY expensive. For the week I was in New York, it was over $2,000 just for the hotel room. I have to do some research and talk things through with my Mom...She is the one who has been next to my side almost 24/7. The decision is honestly up to her. 

Well, I am pooped. I know that with time and rest my energy will return. I have to keep reminding myself it has only been a little over a week since my surgery...it is OK to be lazy. 

When else will there be a time when it is acceptable to be lazy?!

Happy Saturday, folks. Do something fun!

My First Hospital Stay...

...told in mainly picture form. Sorry, I am exhausted!

Wearing my stylish hospital gear

before heading into surgery.

Mom captured the moment...

and my absolute joy.

I woke up in the recovery room around 8 PM with extreme nausea.

Luckily for you, there are no pictures.

 I was able to see my family for about ten minutes...Long enough to start crying!

I remember looking at Mom, "I'm going to cry."

And sure enough, I did.

They kept me on oxygen

until about 10:00 PM and finally took me to my room thirty minutes later.

I remember trying to watch Grey's Anatomy with my nurse Pam

but I could not stay awake.

I made out pretty well the night of surgery. I had an amazing, young nurse Audrey

who took special care of me.

Day Two:

I had good drugs in my system...

obviously.

Without the drugs,

I was close to miserable.

I did have pretty presents to help make my room more comfy...

from The Sharpley's!

"Hope you are back in heels soon!"

Thanks, Brie!

Ashley claims it is only appropriate

to send me flowers in a margarita glass...

Too bad there was no tequila!

From my baby sister...perfect.

From a special sorority sister...

Curious George is totally my secret man.

Look at that face!

*I received other special gifts from another sorority sister, a teddy bear

that kept me company from my Dad & Step Mom, scarves and chocolate

from my special fellow melanoma warrior, and I arrived

home to numerous cards from you all.

THANK YOU. I wish I could post pictures of everything.

Back to the medical stuff...

Here is the left arm incision after my full lymph node dissection.

The two drains coming from my left arm...

Most painful part of the first few days!

Neck drain and incision.

I have not seen the actual incision yet...

It has to remained covered for another week.

The lovely case my drains went into..I had two and they clunk together

as I walked.

I am telling ya...I was a pretty picture!

My breathing toy...Supposed to blow into it ten times every hour.

It has been quite difficult for me.

I was in the hospital for 4 nights.

My discharge process began at 6:15 Monday morning;

however, I did not actually leave until 10:00.

The last night in the hospital was the worst.

I was extremely ill. Luckily Audrey was working again

and she, once again, took special care of me.

Release from "jail"

My aide Rachel said, "My friend is leaving today! Now I don't want to see you back here."

I told Rachel I hope to see her again...but not at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

Now I am back in Virginia, tucked into bed, sore as sore can be...

Like the last time I had surgery, I have developed an allergic reaction.

Notice my incision, my two bullet holes from the drains, and my rash.

Maybe you will stop going to the tanning bed now?

The end of my hospital visit brought me amazing, unexpected news...

An ALL CLEAR PATHOLOGY REPORT!!!

Now...I need to go rest. The horrible New Jersey roads took a lot out of me today.

I feel beat!

XO, friends.

The healing begins now.

Another Chance at Life

I  can hardly stop shaking enough

to write this post.

I do not know how to start it, so I am just going to blurt it out.

Dr. Charlotte Ariyan, AKA Dr. Glinda the Good Witch--
named
for her beautiful smile, her curly blonde hair,
and because she is my protector against my enemy melanoma-
 gave me the best news of my life today.

ALL of my lymph nodes that were removed

on Thursday

came back NEGATIVE for melanoma.

Yes, you read it right:

NEGATIVE FOR MELANOMA.

Thank you God.

Thank you to my amazing, AMAZING doctors.

Thank you to my could-not-live-without family.

Thank you to my friends...close and far.

I have a lifetime of fighting ahead of me,

I will always have Stage III Melanoma,

but right now...

I have No Evidence of Disease.

Today...is the best day of my life.

*I will post more when I can think clearly. As you can imagine, I am in shock.

Freedom, Freedom, Freeeeeedom!

I got released from the hospital a few hours ago! I will post a full update later but I am back in the hotel, minus one drain, all clean--thanks to Mom and some creative maneuvering--and in fresh PJ's. I still have the stylish drain in my left arm but the right one was removed this morning.

As you can see, there is no hiding this baby! It makes dressing very difficult.

Oh, and you should have seen the looks I received from the New York City folks. I am sure I was a pretty picture...standing on the sidewalk, numerous flower arrangements, a Vera Bradley bag, two teddy bears, and a pillow. Oh..and my bloody drain that was visible even though I had a jacket over me.

Nothing like making a scene! ;-)

Nap time!!



I am baaaaaaaaack!

Hi everyone! I wanted to personally write a little update to let everyone know how I am. (please forgive me for the mistakes...I will blame it on autocorrect and the pain medicine!)

My surgery was on Thursday, March 24th. I arrived at the hospital at noon and they wasted no time getting me changed and prepped. That took all of twenty minutes so then we were forced to wait...and wait...and wait. Luckily they let my family stay with me so it was Mom, my Step Dad, my Step Mom, Dad, and Cara in the holding cell. By this time I was starving and thirsty so the main conversation was about food. Of course.

As I keep mentioning the staff at Memorial Sloan Kettering is outstanding. They are all so friendly, but not in that fake way...As the aide was helping me prepare for surgery, she said a quick prayer that this will be my last surgery. Amen!

The surgery itself was more successful than I could have hoped. Both Dr. Glinda and Dr. Adorable were able to preserve the nerves that allow me to lift my arms, etc. I am extremely grateful for them. They are both so excellent in terms of their knowledge and their ability to bond with their patients. Their staff checks on me throughout the day, the doctors come by to chat, I never feel neglected.

As I was waking up in the recovery room, Dr. Adorable came by, held my hand, and said I was fantastic and he is so relieved we did the operation.

Dr. Glinda has been just as great. She came by this afternoon and ended up sitting on the bed chatting with me, helping me milk my drains (sounds dirty) and simply talking with me for a good 15 minutes. She shared her complete joy about Ipi being FDA approved yesterday. I believe she had tears in her eyes while discussing the drug. The approval of that is major! No drug has been approved for treatment of melanoma in YEARS. This could be the drug that allows my fellow warriors to live many more years. To see Dr. Glinda so visibly touched by this made me very relieved I have her on my side.

Tonight I am in the hospital room alone. My roommate, a very quiet older woman, was discharged this evening. Although she could not speak English, she stopped by to have my Step Father tell me she wishes me luck. I wish the best to her. She was the best roommate I could have had.

One thing I have learned about hospitals is that there is no time for modesty. Dr. Glinda's staff came in this morning to remove the bandage under my arm. I barely had enough time to stand before it was snap, snap, snap! I was suddenly exposed from the shoulders down. Trying to distract myself from the two very handsome doctors, I started to discuss my "jersey shore spray tan." Whatever they used the prep my body from surgery is intense! Of course the topic only made them pay more attention to my very naked skin but whatever... Life would be boring without awkward moments!!

I want to thank everyone for all of the support! I never feel alone with all of you in my corner.

Now... It is time for me to get some beauty sleep. Did I mention my night nurse looks like Avery from Grey's Anatomy? Oh la la!

The Morning Of...

I have made a decision.

I am going to go into surgery with positive thoughts,

a smile on my face,

 and the determination to be the best little melanoma patient

Memorial Sloan Kettering has ever seen!

However, in honor of the pain I am going to put myself through today (guilt trip begins now!) I hope you take the time to warn someone about the dangers of melanoma. Become friends with a dermatologist. Stay out of the tanning bed. (Hello, spray tan!) Use sunscreen daily...not only on yourself but your kids, your husband, your parents. 

Be smart.





I Don't Wanna...

I have decided I

 really

 truly

do NOT want to do this tomorrow.

I am tired of being in pain. I am tired of the scars. I am tired of doctors, and needles, and blood pressure cuffs. But, I know this surgery is the best thing for me.

Someone asked me tonight exactly what this surgery is for so I figured I would do a quick explanation. During my last surgery, Dr. Pink removed lymphnodes in 4 areas--both armpits, both sides of my neck. Out of all four areas, he only removed 9 nodes. It has been confirmed twice that the nodes in my left armpit and the right side of my neck were positive for melanoma.

Standard procedure is to go back into those positive areas and remove the rest of the lymphnodes. There is no way of knowing how many nodes will be removed...could be ten, could be twenty in each area. A pathologist will then study each and every node to find out if there is more cancer in those affected areas. 

There may be more cancer. There may not be any more cancer.

Either way, I will find out for sure... No more guessing!

This surgery will require quite a few new incisions, plus two fashionable drains, nerves will be cut, fat will be removed, and it will leave me with little ability to lift my arms, etc. Physical therapy may be needed.

However, it will give me a peace of mind. If there is more cancer in my body, I want it out of me.

Let's say the nodes are negative. What happens? Possibly nothing. We will continue to have scans every 3 months, remain best friends with my doctors, and hope that we never have an issue again.

If the node are positive? That is OK, too. Of course I hope for a negative report; however, I will not lose hope if it comes back with a few positive nodes. If this is the case, I will be eligible for Ipi. If you have been doing your research on melanoma, you will know that this drug will hopefully be FDA approved very soon.

Confession time: I am terrified.

I guess because I had no idea the amount of pain I would feel after the last surgery, I was no where near this nervous. This time I am scared about how this surgery will leave me. I am thankful I am spending a few days in the hospital because the nurses can monitor my pain, medicines, and teach me how to care for the drains.

Remember how I had hoped for a private room? Wellllllllllllllllllllll....that is an additional $500 per day.

Guess who will have a roommate?

 

I am scheduled to arrive at the main hospital at noon tomorrow. My surgery is scheduled to begin at 2 PM. I should be in my hospital room around 8 PM...just in time to tell my family goodnight.

A part of me is thankful I will not be getting to my room until late. Maybe that way I will actually sleep through the night? Wishful thinking? Probably.

I am going to try to get my last night of comfortable sleeping...As you go to bed tonight, please pray for my friend Christina. She is going for her 3 month scan tomorrow. We are all hoping, praying, wishing that all is clear. She is, yet another, young beautiful mother...fighting against melanoma.

Girls, as I keep saying, that "gorgeous tan" is so not worth it.