Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What Not To Say...

If you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position
of having to comfort someone
with melanoma,
here is a list of what not to say...

* "Well...what are the statistics?"

* "I heard something bad about you. Is it true?"

* "The good news is, it won't kill you...right now." (Said by a doctor.)

* "You're going to be fine.

* "My brother died of melanoma."

* "My uncle died of melanoma."

*"My best friends dog-cat-friend died of melanoma."

       The point being...someone dying of melanoma is not exactly uplifting to a "melanoma warrior."

"I want to look hot now...I'll worry about the rest later."

* "My family has a history of skin cancer but...."

* "Well, you don't look sick."
* "I'm going tanning."

* "At least it is just skin cancer...Can't they just remove it?"

*There are numerous comments that have been made; however, I am forgetful. Dear friends, remind me of the comments!

I know that most people are at a total loss for what to say, but some of these things are unkind. If you have a friend fighting against melanoma, please think before you say anything at all. I greatly appreciate the support...but sometimes I need exactly that---support.

Melanoma is a lifetime battle. It will never, ever truly go away. For the rest of our lives, we melanoma warriors will dread every CAT scan, every MRI, every swollen lymph node because we know that the chance of melanoma spreading is high.

Just please...think before you try to offer comfort. Sometimes you do more harm than good.

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