Let's Get To the Point

I pay attention to facial expressions. Does the doctor avoid eye contact? Is he smiling? Doe he look at Mom? Does he shake my hand or simply sit down in front of me? In my head, if a doctor has good news for me, he should walk in, shake my hand, smile at me, give Mom a reassuring look and get right to the point.

Shouldn't I know by now that life rarely happens how I think it should happen?

Today began with a session with the vampires. 17 tubes of blood, a low grade fever, and nerves. Then I was finally called back to see The Wizard. Those few minutes sitting in the waiting room were torture. It's like waiting for a jury to decide the verdict: Do I get to live my life for another 3 months or will the black beast show his face? Where will the new tumors be? My liver, my lungs, my brain?

The nurse walks in to ask the normal "how are you?" questions. Because the trial paperwork had changed a little since the last time I was there (they added a part about male's sexual capability...obviously, as the nurse said, that doesn't apply to me; however, it broke the tension and made us laugh.) I had to sign my life away. While I was signing the paperwork, in walks The Wizard. I look up, he's super casual, says hi, sits down on the examination chair, and starts talking to the nurse. I am basically holding my breath and thinking, "Oh crap. He normally tells me AS he is walking into the room that I am fine. Why isn't he talking to me?!" Then The Wizard says, "How are you?" I started telling him that I feel great. He says, "Oh, by the way, you are great! Your scans were fine." Dude. Did you really almost give me a panic attack and then downplay my No Evidence of Disease results?

Really?

Then I got over it because I AM CLEAR, I AM CLEAR, I AM CLEAR!!!

THANK YOU, GOD! THANK YOU, MODERN MEDICINE! THANK YOU, FAMILY & FRIENDS! A special thank you to my Mom for holding my hand, once again, this week.

I AM CLEAR!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joking...

.................Sort of.

So, how did I celebrate? 

A visit to the chemo suite, duh!

I have to stay healthy.

I also celebrated by meeting a new friend in the waiting
room while waiting for the Chemo Nurse to call me.
She is my age, beautiful, and has an amazing attitude.
More on that meeting soon...
Lord knows, I hate this cancer, but I love the people
it has allowed me to meet.

Your thoughts, messages, phone calls, and constant support have gotten me through this very tough week. Seriously. I do not think I will ever be able to explain how much the support I receive helps me through this new life. Cancer is so unpredictable, but I know that no matter what results I receive, I will have a group behind me, pushing me forward. You all encourage me to fight even when I don't feel like fighting.