Who Needs A Tattoo...

when you get a new scar every 3 months? These scars are my own version of body art...

I went in for my 3 month skin check with my favorite dermatologist today. If you haven't gone for your full body skin check yet, call today and schedule it. Let me give you a warning though. Be prepared to have no part of you unchecked. I mean, NO. PART. OF. YOU. I escaped the in-between-the-cheeks and lady bits only because I promised I check those areas myself. He knows that I am extremely paranoid about my moles, I believe he trusts me. So, yes, the exam is awkward. Yes, I have made the mistake of forgetting to wear full underwear and made the visit even more awkward. However, the awkwardness of it is so worth it.

Mr. Spots took off work today to attend this appointment with me today. I was grateful for him being there because going back to the place where I was first diagnosed is always a bit uncomfortable for me. Bad memories! Anyway, Mr. Spots mentioned my blog to the dermatologist today. The dermatologist made an interesting comment: "I hope I have been good to you." My immediate response: "You saved my life." Silence.

It is true though. He removed the mole because he was not 100% sure about it. It looked unusual, but none of us believed it was melanoma. Isn't that how most stories start out? "They told me it was nothing to worry about..." Had I continued on with life after the scab on my mole went away instead of visiting the dermatologist--thanks to the boyfriend I kept my appointment-- chances are the melanoma would already be in my organs. I mean, think about it, it had already spread to numerous lymph nodes on opposite sides of my body. Removing that mole really did save me. It allowed me to be diagnosed with Stage III melanoma, not stage IV, the last and final stage of melanoma.

I didn't escape the dermatologist this time. He removed another suspicious area:

My skin is not a fan of the adhesive on the bandages. As soon as we got home, Mr. Spots pulled off the bandage--it's on my lower back--and washed the area for me to try to prevent a repeat of past events. However, the rash is already forming...I must remember to tell them NO BANDAGES next time. (And we all know there will be a next time! Better to be safe than sorry!)

Oh, and good ol' "And.Them" is back to playing games with me. For some reason when my doctors call/look online to verify my insurance, my insurance company says I do not have coverage. When I call, or when the "And.Them" representative who works with our company calls, I have and have always had coverage. Needless to say, this makes my life difficult.

...which leads me to having one of these with lunch!

I am going to go enjoy the rest of my Monday off by trying to find a comfortable position on the couch and reading my book. 

OH, one last thing!! We stopped to get a movie at Redbox and Mr. Spots noticed that even Redbox has to wear sunscreen.

If Mr. Redbox needs to wear sunscreen than SO DO YOU.

Happy Monday! XO

I'd Rather Be Pale...

 ...is music to my ears.

I am the girl who gets excited when I receive an email from an old co-worker who tells me she has scheduled an appointment with her dermatologist. I am the girl who is thrilled when an old enemy emails me just to say she will never step foot in a tanning salon again. I am definitely the girl who loves hearing that her tanning bed loving friends received the A-OK from their dermatologist.

Today is a cold, super windy, lazy Saturday. So, of course, Mr. Spots is playing video games and I am reading and Facebook stalking. Today I randomly came across something that angered me and inspired me.

A girl from my hometown, almost a stranger, had posted that she was going to get a spray tan. The very first comment in response to her status update said something about how spray tans will give you stripes and the person advised, "Just go to the tanning bed." The next comment was the complete opposite. It said something like, "Don't listen to Wrinkles. She'll be sorry when she's 40 and looks like she is 60. Get the spray tan!" The girl who originally posted the status shared my story and said, "I have too much to live for...her story and reading her story opened my eyes...I'd rather be pale than have cancer :)"

Success!

Not only is this young mother staying out of tanning beds, she's also not giving into the pressure of her peers! Woo hoo! This makes me ridiculously excited.


Sometimes when I start to think that sharing my story, posting things far too personal to share with strangers, and annoying my friends and family with "Wear sunscreen!" lectures, I see something like this that makes me remember people are listening.


I know that my purpose is to save others from the hell that is melanoma. I hate that it took an actual diagnosis for me to learn the seriousness of melanoma and to find one of my purposes in life, but I know that this is it. 


I will not stay quiet. For me, remaining quiet about this cancer would be giving in to melanoma and I refuse to ever do such a thing.

Marc Jacobs--

Cancer Getting Cancer

Don't we all?

Livin' It

picture

This is my way of apologizing for not writing lately. Life has been busy with non-melanoma related activities (also known as work and little else!) I don't know if it is the stress from work or maybe a side effect of the drug I am possibly receiving, but by the end of the day, I have no energy left. I have been completely worthless every evening. Poor Mr. Spots has been stuck cooking (normal) and cleaning (not normal) all by himself. He has yet to complain..I am thankful.

Yesterday I experienced something I wish I had not have had to cross of my non-existent bucket list. I had a gun flashed at me by an angry patient at work. Do you know what I did when he flashed the gun, while saying, "You don't argue with a man with a gun."? I laughed. Not a ha-ha-ha laugh, but a nervous chuckle, and replied, "Definitely not." I think he was simply trying to intimidate me, I don't think he was going to actually harm me, so I went about my job without causing a scene. All I could think was, "You have got to be kidding me."

And then I thought "Why do I always laugh when scary things happen?" As you may remember, I actually laughed a ha-ha-ha laugh when the dermatologist told me my mole was melanoma. It was a bit awkward when the nurse had to stop me from laughing and tell me that he was actually serious. Oops.

Is anyone else realizing that my life is really starting to resemble a soap opera?

Even with the crazy aspects, the no good days, the stress from work, I know that I am so lucky to be here living a normal life with normal every day problems. A day when I can complain about a rude patient or a sore throat is a good day for me.

Life certainly has changed.

*Oh, I received an email from a very sweet young lady who thought I would enjoy listening to this interview of a stage IV melanoma warrior and her experience with a clinical trial at Sloan Kettering. Thanks, Annika! I really did find it interesting!)

Bob Marley

Did you know that our famous

Bob Marley

died from Malignant Melanoma at only 36 years old?

Today would have been Mr. Marley's birthday. In his honor, check your skin & jam out to his tunes.

As if I need to remind you, melanoma is not just skin cancer.

http://onlyskindeepbook.blogspot.com/2007/08/melanoma-not-respector-of-persons.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley

http://www.skincancer.org/prevention/skin-cancer-and-skin-of-color

World Cancer Day!

I am feeling much better today! The suspicious thing popping out of my neck is completely gone! The nodes behind my ears are still swollen but the pain is NO where near what it was yesterday. Apparently a few extra hours of sleep and a stress free morning will do wonders for my body.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday...

Oh, and remember! It is World Cancer Day. Honor those who have been touched by ANY type of cancer in some type of way. Schedule your yearly exam, stop smoking for good this time, grab a partner and check your boobies and skin! Do whatever you can do to live as healthy as you can.

Welcome Back, Ms. Frankenstein!

I recently posted about a lymph node on the left side of my neck that had been swollen, disappearing, then it showed its ugly face again yesterday. Today, that lymph node had friends join her. Please excuse my ignorance, but I had no clue until today that you have lymph nodes behind your ears. Huh. Swollen lymph nodes cause me concern because it could mean infection or the big C. I can handle swollen lymph nodes for a few days because they usually go away. However, today I had a suspicious "area" pop up that caused me to call both sets of doctors: The Wizard in New York and Dr. Bad Mustache in Roanoke.

When I explained the symptoms--swollen lymph nodes, the sensation that my throat is closing, and the suspicious tumor/vein looking thing, she immediately called me back and said, "How fast can you get here?" Off I went.

I went first to the lab for blood work (no results yet...they aren't as fast as Sloan Kettering!) and then headed over to see Dr. Bad Mustache, who I had not seen in a year. It was nice catching up with him and hearing how interested and up to date he was on my medical history. Sloan Kettering has been sending him reports and it looks like he actually takes the time to read them. (Maybe he read them right before he walked in, either way, he knew who I was and what I am doing.)

Anyway, Dr. Mustache looked at my neck and said, "No need to ask why you are here." Ding. I do look like Frankenstein! At first glance, he was concerned that it was a blood clot. Once he started pushing around (ouch!) and actually examining me, he believes that the reason I am having all the inflammation is actually due to a response to the drug I may possibly be receiving. He said that although it hurts, this swelling is a good side effect.

Here is how he explained it: Yervoy is an immunotherapy, we want it to boost my immune system into kicking melanoma's ass. Because I have so few lymph nodes remaining in my neck due to the 3 surgeries, the lymph nodes that I do have left have to go into overdrive. He believes that the swollen nodes are a sign that my body is responding to the drug.

As far as the swollen tumor/vein looking thing? It is NOT a vein. He is not 100% sure what it is... He said that I have a lot of damage to my neck due to the surgeries and that we will keep an eye on it. If it is not better in a week, it will be ultrasound time.

Until then, I am going to chill out on the couch, wear a scarf, and eat things like mashed potatoes and ice cream. I am hoping soon I will no longer feel like someone is trying to strangle me.

Oh, the joys of Hotel Melanoma.

Do. Not. Tan.