Drawing a Line

For the first year I kept this blog I accepted every single person who sent me a friend request on Facebook. Here's an obvious fact: Accepting every single person who sends you a friend request, even when you don't know them, is a bad decision, especially if you post about your private life.

So, I began to draw a line. I created my blog Facebook page, I attempted a Twitter page, and I began unfriending people I don't know in 'real' life.

I still struggle with that line because I really don't like to hurt feelings or act like I'm snubbing my Molemates. But sometimes people are not genuine, and it's really easy for people to sit behind a computer and bully others. So, the line has to remain.

In the last year I've really tried to separate myself. It's not just me anymore. There's my husband and my step son to consider. So, here's what I'm saying: I'm not trying to be mean by not accepting friend requests on my personal Facebook page. I am not turning my back on you or being a selective snob. I just truly feel that I put myself out there publicly enough with this blog, Twitter, and my blog's Facebook page, that it is OK and NEEDED to keep a little bit of my private life private. I do enjoy sharing melanoma stories via email though! I LOVE meeting fellow warriors & their families!  I just want something that is for me, Chelsea, the wife, the step-mom, the VA employee.

I hope you guys understand.

I hope your 2014 is starting out beautifully! XO!

The Balancing Act

Pinterest

It was only a few months ago that I was directed to a blog post that had been written about me. In that post the blogger said I need to move on with my life and stop writing about my experience. I needed to stop trying to get attention for something that happened years ago. I needed to move "the fu*k on" according to this fellow blogger. I didn't write about the post then because the blog was an immature example of the internet bullying that many of us have sadly experienced. However, I thought back to her post this weekend when I realized how out of the loop I am sometimes in the melanoma community.

While I try to update this blog from time to time I am much better these days at quickly uploading the latest melanoma article or a quote that hits home for me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I sometimes take a break from reading fellow warriors blogs. I don't always check my blog email the very next day. There are times I try to take a full fledged break--it doesn't last long--from Facebook because I need to live my life melanoma free for a while. It does not mean that I don't care about my fellow warriors or don't want to participate in all things melanoma; however, it takes an emotional toll to be too consumed every single day. This sounds incredibly selfish but I've had to be picky when it comes to what groups and events I want to be a part of because when I'm in, I'm fully in, and all of my emotions become invested. 

This isn't always a good thing for me.

I guess what hurt me the most about the post is that there was a time I was fully consumed by melanoma! Every single day I was writing about it. Every single day I was sharing my deepest fears with each and every melanoma warrior who would listen. Every single day I was living in fear instead of living. It took time, tears, encouragement and true effort to find balance.

Yet, sometimes I don't get the balance right. 

This weekend when I heard unwanted news about a dear friend from another friend, I realized maybe I've been too consumed by my own personal life these days. I have been so busy being a  live-in-soon-to-be-wife, a 50% full-time soon-to-be step mom, and a full time employee that I haven't been around enough to cheer on my friends. I felt like a Mole Mate failure.

There is no guidebook on how to balance life & cancer. I've just had to wing it, and sometimes, no matter which extreme I take, I fail.

How have you found balance in your life?