Breaking Traditions

Each year, on the eve of my cancerversary, I grab the book my best friend made for me that consists of letters from my fellow melanoma friends, a glass of wine, and I snuggle in for a good cry.

Not this year.

This year, year seven, was different....

This year, just a month prior to the seventh anniversary, my oncologist broke up with me.

I went in for my routine six month scans in December. I felt pretty good, no concerns at all, but I wasn't expecting the news my doctor gave me. He told me my scans were clear, that it had been almost seven years since my initial diagnosis, years from the last treatment, etc. As I sat there listening to him talk about what the team of melanoma specialists had discussed, I interrupted him and asked with a bit of panic in my voice, "Are you breaking up with me?" Like all men, he said I can still call him if I want, we can still be friends. (Bless this man for GETTING me.)

In typical Chelsea fashion, I didn't cry. I sat there pretty stunned. I might have laughed. I looked at my mom who was equally shocked. In seven years we've never once discussed the possibility of being discharged from his care. Even when he approved me for pregnancy, and then wondered why I wasn't pregnant yet (he was pro-baby for this girl!), I never once considered a life without scans. It all felt so surreal. To be honest, I don't think the reality of it will hit me until June rolls around which is when I would've been sent for follow-up CT scans. I hope I don't sound ungrateful. I am so incredibly thankful! I am excited! I am thrilled! I am SHOCKED! We never thought this day would arrive...and it's here.

Am I scared about no longer receiving CT scans? I don't know. I don't think I am. Because here's the thing...Those letters that I read from my melanoma friends on the eve of each cancervesary? Some of those friends are no longer here... Those people had the best care available to them, they fought like hell to stay on this earth, but they aren't here. I owe it to them -- to my friends -- to live.

So this year on my seventh anniversary of being diagnosed with melanoma, I stayed quiet. I didn't mention it to my family as we explored the Bahamas. I hugged my boys a little tighter and I said a silent thank you that this is my life. I know, I KNOW, how lucky I am.

I figured I'm overdue to share a few other pictures with you! Being a mama is everything. 

The sign says My Bucket List...exactly what he is. 

My bonus kid is growing up so quickly. He's the perfect big brother!

Right before I left for vacation I received this fun shirt from https://toptierstyle.com/

I'm not going to lie, I'm obsessed with it. 

The cat looks so innocent until you pull the pocket down...

then it feels exactly how I do towards melanoma. 

(The shirt itself is super comfy! Size up!)

(The cat giving the middle finger shirt in this review was provided by Top Tier Style. If you would like to purchase your own use the coupon code BLOG15 for 15% OFF everything on their store!)

I want to thank you all for following along with me over the last seven years. It's been quite the adventure, hasn't it?

Sending you love and good health! Wear sunscreen!

Chelsea

Moments.

I had a moment this morning. You know, one of those moments that you're almost embarrassed to tell anyone about because it's so out of character for you. One of those moments where you say to yourself, "OK. Get it together, girl!" Yeah, I had one today.

 I was driving out of my neighborhood this morning when I had to stop for a school bus. I sat there and watched a family prepare to send their baby girl to school. It was obviously her first day of kindergarten. She had her big book bag, both parents, and her baby sister cheering her on. The parents put her on the bus, the school bus driver sat there while they waved to each other, then the doors closed and baby girl was off for her first day of school. The parents continued to wave for a few seconds, and before I could even drive away, both parents started crying. Both of them, in the middle of their yard, sobbing. Naturally, I started crying too. It was like watching a damn Hallmark commercial. (Seriously wish I had recorded it for the family. It was special.)

Ah, special moments...

...Moments I want to have one day.

Thinking back on this special moment  made me remember I haven't shared my special moment with you! My bridal shower last weekend!

 My mom came in on Friday night as a complete surprise to me

as I thought she had to work!

I should have known,

mom doesn't miss milestones!

 My awesome cupcake dress cake!

(Thanks, baby sister!!)

With the amazing hosts:

 my baby sister Cara,

and the gal who introduced me to my future husband!

They threw a great--totally me--shower!

Apparently there is an old wives tale that says the amount of bows

you break indicates how many children you will have.

The one bow I broke--even though I tried not to--

was on the present my future husband wrapped!

How appropriate.

And hilarious.

I can't wait to use these October 18th!

It was such a special weekend. My mom was in town, my mom's best friend from Canada drove in for the shower, Mr. Spots' family joined us, and a few women who are special to me joined us for a great shower. It was personal, relaxed, and sweet. Absolutely perfect.

It was a day I once wondered if I would get.

When the reality of cancer started sinking after they diagnosed me with stage 3 malignant melanoma, everything I may not get to do ran through my head. Days when my anxiety levels are high--cough SCAN DAYS--cough--It still runs through my head. Would I get to marry my guy? Would I be a Momma? Would I get to grow old? 

To be able to marry my guy on October 18th really will be a blessing for so many reasons.

Non-existent bucket list item, Marry the love of my life, will be complete.

...and I can't wait.