Cancer Survivor

 

I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed. I turned. My husband probably thought a few times about pushing me out of the bed. I tossed and I turned some more. What would have me up at 2:30 A.M. in such a fit? The title "Cancer Survivor."

Some of you know that wearing the hat "Cancer Survivor" makes me cringe and quickly change the subject. To many people who have not battled melanoma, that probably seems ridiculous. After all, I've sat half naked on a cold exam room when the dermatologist mumbled those two words, "it's melanoma." I've seen the sympathy in the nuclear medicine tech's face as the radiologist informed me of the "hot spots" on a scan. I've looked an oncologist in the eyes as he told my then-boyfriend and I that melanoma would not kill me "right now." (And then I basically fired him.) I spent a month recovering from a brutal surgery only to have a more invasive surgery a month later that kept me in the hospital for 4 nights. I knowingly signed up for a 3 year clinical trial involving a placebo and a drug the doctors didn't know all that much about for stage 3 patients all because I didn't like my two other choices: "watch and wait" or Interferon.. I FINISHED the 3 year clinical trial with only a few bad memories. I've spent 3 and a half years of my time and effort sharing my story on every social media outlet in hopes of saving one person from making the poor decisions I've made. I've traveled to Richmond and met with committee members begging for them to protect Virginia's teens from the dangers of tanning beds. I went from having no scars on my body to having more than I can count. But I still cringe at being called a survivor. 

Why?

I am surviving. Every new mole, every swollen lymph node, every 3 months with the oncologist and dermatologist, we do what needs to be done to make sure we keep one step ahead of melanoma. And despite that, the sneaky beast has come back twice. So tonight, when I walk the stage with other cancer survivors at Cure By Design, I'm walking for all of my mole-mates who are no longer here to strut the stage. I'm walking in honor of my melanoma friends, many I've never met, as thanks for the love and support you continue to give me. I'm walking as a survivor because I know that's what they would want. I'm walking as a survivor because that's what I intend to do: survive.

To learn more about the Cure by Design event that sponsors the American Cancer Society or to donate in honor of your favorite cancer survivor, please click here.

Destination: Australia

You know how there are places on your bucket list that you want to see? Australia is on mine. Even before melanoma, I knew that I would need to be extremely careful in the Australian sun.

Australia is known for the highest rates of melanoma and they are also known as being way ahead of the United States in terms of sun safety. That's why when I received an email from Fiona  at http://truebluemigration.com/, I knew I wanted her to take over my blog for the day. We have a lot to learn here in the States! Read on... (And be sure to check out their infographic. It's SO good.)

View the entire Infographic here:

 

Australia’s Biggest Killer

The land down under is kind of infamous for its menagerie of venomous creatures. We hear horror stories of giant jellyfish. We see gruesome images of lightning-fast snakes, and fear bathroom-dwelling black widow spiders.

Yet despite this cornucopia of poisonous fangs and stingers, there is one killer in the Land of Oz that trumps them all. It’s often invisible to those who don’t know how to find it, and can attack people before they’re even aware that it’s there.

That killer is skin cancer.

Some Like it Hot

Australia is a pretty sunny place. If it seems like an obvious statement, that’s because it is, and if you’re planning your vacation there, it’s probably one of the main selling points.

As this handy infographic shows, average number of sunshine hours every year is 3,200, consistently reaching some staggering temperatures. On the southern coast of Australia, the average temperature in cities like Sydney and Melbourne weighs in at a balmy 26ºC (79ºF).

Further inland, however, these temperatures can climb all the way up to the Australian record of 50.7ºC - that’s 123ºF - a temperature that ravaged Alice Springs back in January 1960.

With such a scorching climate, you would assume that residents would have the common sense to apply a healthy coating or two of sunscreen, right?

Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

The Facts

Doctors in Australia have more than one million patient consultations for skin cancers every single year. In fact, skin cancer accounts for 80 percent of new cancer cases in the country.

The collective quantity of incidences of cancers like Bowen’s disease, carcinomata and melanoma shows that the country has one of the highest skin cancer rates in the world. In 2011, over 2,000 people tragically died from skin cancer in Australia, most of which were preventable.

And the primary culprit? The sun. Up to 99 percent of all skin cancer cases are caused by exposure to the sun.

But, in the words of The Jackson 5, “don’t blame it on the sunshine”. You can - and should - enjoy the glorious weather of the South Pacific if you can, as long as you take the appropriate measures before doing so.

How You Can Stay Safe

So many people make a big deal out of the “effort” they have to make to stay safe in the sun. But it’s easy. Just remember these three important things:

Sunscreen - be sure to apply one ounce of high SPF sunscreen every time you apply, which should be three or four times a day in the summer.

Stay hydrated - and no, dipping in the pool doesn’t count. Drink plenty of water to stop your body and skin drying out, which could otherwise increase your risk of sunburn.

Get out of the sun every now and then - no matter how much water you drink and how much sunscreen you douse yourself in, you’ll still burn if you’re in the sun too long. If your skin feels hot, go inside until it cools down. If you’re at the beach, pack a hat or umbrella; statistics show that a wide-brimmed hat can reduce UV radiation exposure by 50 percent.

Staying safe in the sun does not ruin holidays; it makes them. If you’re protected and sensible, you and your family can enjoy Australia’s gorgeous weather care-free.

 

Thank you, Fiona, for educating us all. I hope to use these tips in mind when I get to cross Visiting Australia off of my non-existent bucket list! Until then, I know I can follow them here!  Be sure to view their Infographic and share it: http://blog.truebluemigration.com/cope-australian-sun-infographic/

No Turning Back

Dear Politicians,

I watched you roll your eyes last year. I heard you say there was no need to ban minors from using indoor tanning beds, that we should let parents be parents. I shot a dirty look in your direction when you laughed at us and stated, "You can't stop them from spending 7 hours at Virginia Beach, why should we ban this?" I cringed when you acted like you--the people we are supposed to trust to make the best decisions for us--should spend time worrying about other things, not something so silly as a machine that is responsible for the 400,000 cases of skin cancer, about 6,000 of them melanomas, that are estimated to be related to indoor tanning in the United States each year. (Source.)

Well, elected officials we are supposed to trust, the acting Surgeon General disagrees with you.

(l-r) Assistant Secretary for Health Dr. Howard Koh, Stacey--ACS CAN volunteer and skin cancer survivor and Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Boris D. Lushniak (source)

"I’ve got to, as acting surgeon general, call out the facts. And the facts are that indoor tanning is a source of ultraviolet radiation, period. Ultraviolet radiation is a known carcinogen, period. This is a needless exposure to ultraviolet radiation. According to research…we’re looking at about 400,000 cases of skin cancer, about 6,000 of them melanomas, that are estimated to be related to indoor tanning in the United States each year. So I have to look at this as being a major problem. We certainly know it’s something that’s become popular amongst youth. And much like the surgeon general comes out very vehemently against youth smoking, I am coming out quite vehemently against youth exposing their skin to ultraviolet radiation in tanning booths." 

-Acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak, M.D

Today the acting Surgeon General released his Call to Action to Prevent Skin Cancer. The report says, "Despite efforts to address skin cancer risk factors, such as inadequate sun protection and intentional tanning behaviors, skin cancer rates, including rates of melanoma, have continued to increase in the United States and world wide." The report goes on to share other info that has been gathered and five goals that we need to aim for to solve the "major health problem" of skin cancer.

Acting Surgeon General Dr. Boris Lushniak told CNN, "Until today, the surgeon general has never said, 'UV radiation is bad for you; protect your skin."

This is a game changer, folks.

I also learned that this is the first Call to Action from the Surgeon General in 3 years. The last was regarding mothers and breast feeding.

I could summarize everything for you that the Call to Action stated, but I believe you should take the time to read it yourself. There's some good info there, folks. Info that I do not believe our elected officials can argue against.

To read the summary of The Surgeon General's Call to Action to Prevent Skin Cancer: click here.
To read what the American Suntanning Association has to say in response: click here.
To read what the American Cancer Society has to say in response: click here.
To read what the Melanoma Research Foundation has to say in response: click here.
To read what the Skin Cancer Foundation has to say in response: http://www.skincancer.org/news/surgeon
To read what the Melanoma Research Alliance has to say in response: click here.
Article on USA Today regarding this Call to Action: click here.
Article on CNN regarding this Call to Action: click here.
Article on MSN regarding the Surgeon General's report: click here.


I applaud you, Acting Surgeon General Dr. Boris Lushniak, for recognizing the need for this call to action. If states were slow to recognize their important role they have in helping decrease the amount of lives traumatized by skin cancer, this should help enforce why new policies have to be put in place. Too many lives depend on it.

Acting Surgeon General, you've made this melanoma diva a very happy girl.

A step in the right direction....Ah, it feels so good.

Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

Pinterest

I was reading one of my new favorite blogs tonight, Whispering Sweet Nothings, when I was inspired to write a similar blog post. Shane talks about how as bloggers we tend to only show the world the best of ourselves. We sugarcoat shit. Sometimes we say what we think you want to read. Sometimes we act like things are more perfect than what they really are. Sometimes we act like we aren't afraid. Sometimes we preach. Shane was brave enough to share some of her most personal feelings, so I thought I would share a few secrets of my own that I may hold back. (Some because I don't want a full inbox of hate mail! :0)

 I still miss the worry-free feeling of sunshine on my skin  I grew up at the beach. Many of my childhood memories involve a beach. Almost every major vacation involved a beach. The first summer being back home after being diagnosed with melanoma, I didn't know what to do with my free-time without spending my days at the beach or in my parents pool. I still miss getting up fairly early, grabbing a book, a bottle of water, and maybe some SPF for my face and shoulders, and not worrying about anything else until it was time to head inside many hours later. There were no big hats, umbrellas, select hours I should be in direct sunlight, or the absolute fear of a sunburn. 

I really do think your fake-and-bake tan looks horrible and cheap. I'm not just saying that because I have melanoma and can't get a tan. I truly, honestly, most definitely think that your skin should not be that shade of leather.

I had to remove myself from 2 different melanoma groups. I try to be supportive of everyone. I have a true desire to be a supporter of others and meet as many folks as I can within the melanoma community. However, I came to the conclusion that I could not completely obsess over this cancer. I couldn't have my Facebook newsfeed be nothing but articles about melanoma, latest updates about melanoma, and melanoma patients fighting with each other about something the other one said. I needed a break so I removed myself from two of the groups I belonged to. 

I do not regret removing myself from melanoma groups. I love my Molemates. I cheer with them when they get great news, I cry when they receive the news none of us want to hear. Having said that, I also have to look out for my emotional well being. Removing myself, deleting certain Facebook friends from my personal Facebook page, etc,  was what I needed to do for myself. Despite the hate mail I received it wasn't an attack against anyone else. It doesn't make me any less of a melanoma supporter. It doesn't make me a bitch. It makes me a girl who knew I was letting the internet have too much control over my emotional health. If you still think that makes me a non-supportive bitch, oh well.

I sometimes don't wear sunscreen. Before you freak out, read what I have to say. My face products have sunscreen in them. My hand lotion has sunscreen in it. I work in a basement of a hospital that has absolutely no windows. I walk outside for just moments to get to and from my car. I'm usually in long pants/skirts and a long sleeve sweater/cardigan. (It's negative 20 degrees in there, always.) My skin is always covered. If I spend any additional time outside, or know that I am going to spend additional time outside, I always wear sunscreen. I have multiple bottles in my purse. Don't shoot me. 

I become such a brat before oncology appointments. I'm not lying when I tell you that you're better off just not to talk to me the day I get scans. Just wait until I receive the results. Scanxiety makes me such a little brat. You've been warned. (And I apologize now.)

I am curious about getting a spray tan. A local spray tan salon here in Roanoke recently sprayed the Miss Virginia candidates. I saw her post on Facebook and mentioned that it would be great to interview the owner for my blog. I'm curious how she got into the spray tanning business and if there was a reason behind it. Since then I've been wondering if documenting a spray tan would be good material for my blog; however, I think it totally goes against the message I'm trying to send: Embrace your natural skin tone and look pretty doing it! (My decision about the spray tan still hasn't been made. It would be a one-time thing.)

I hate being in the room with a lot of people when I get scan results.  Receiving bad news is terrifying. Having to look over and see how your family is reacting to bad news is heartbreaking. I never want my family to experience that again.

I get a little peeved when people say I have skin cancer. I have melanoma. It's aggressive, deadly, and a sneaky little bitch.

I never respond to blog comments. But it's not because I don't read them or don't want to respond! It's because I don't have the slightest clue how to do so! I try, but I always fail! *I am going to work on this and figure out how to respond so please make sure you sign in with your Google account or leave an email address where I can get back in touch with you!!!!*

When are we going to start trying for babies?  Please, why do people still think it's OK to ask that? (This is now my promise never to ask anyone else that question ever again.) I've always wanted to be a mom. I think I grew up knowing that was the one role I most definitely wanted in life. When the doctor says it's OK, if the doctors says it's OK, I pray there will be babies. And trust me, I'll annoy you so much with pictures and posts, you will wish you had never wondered when we'd have kids.

I don't care that you got a sunburn. Don't worry about what I'll think.  Worry about reapplying your sunscreen next time.

I love my 'real life' more than I love my melanoma blog.  I know that I'm pretty much the crappiest blogger lately. I post once or twice a month. I don't update you on the latest drugs, the most recent articles, I don't share like I used to. But here's the thing: I work full-time for a hospital in a job that leaves me tired and sometimes grumpy. I'm a newlywed wife who actually likes her husband, I'm a step mom to a kid we see for 7 days and miss for 7 days, I babysit 5-6 nights a week during the weeks we don't have my step son, I enjoy cuddling with my dog and reading some silly romance novel. I am enjoying my life. I have melanoma. I'm thankful every single day that Melanoma is not my life.

My melanoma blog I'm denying saved me during my darkest days. I didn't want to talk about the seriousness of what I was going through. I didn't know how to tell people without downplaying it or making a joke. I was completely shutting down. I am so thankful my mom recognized this and advised me to write. She saved me from a severe depression and many hours in therapy.

I'm already fearing the comments I'm going to get about sunscreen. If a body part is exposed for more than 10 minutes per day, it has sunscreen on it. I promise.

What are some things you keep to yourself?

*Although Shane doesn't have the slightest clue who I am, thank you, Shane, for inspiring me tonight.*

She Asked For It

So it was just this week that I blogged about how I don't pressure those around me--well, not co-workers or almost strangers--into protecting their skin. I post what I have to say online, I share my story once I'm comfortable with you, and that's that. I don't comment on your obvious sunburn. I don't let you know I notice your brand new tan in the month of January when you haven't been on vacation. I smile and treat you just like I treat every other person. I'm not going to let my personal feelings towards tanning change the way I treat a person. Point is, I keep my mouth shut. No lectures.

(But I do post stuff like this.

Often.)

However, sometimes, situations just walk in to your office fall into your lap.

Today one of my co-workers began walking down the hallway, pushing one of the young X-RAY students towards my office. I knew, just by looking at which student he had by the shoulders shoving towards me, what was about to happen. "You need to talk to her, Chelsea." I started shaking my head, "No. I saw her tan. It's her body. I'm not going to lecture her." "You need to talk to her." He stood there, with his hands on her shoulders, preventing her from walking away. I was determined to be nice to this young girl who I don't even know by name and just give her the sweet smile, followed by the, "You really shouldn't tan" comment. But then she looked at me directly in my eyes and said, "I go to the tanning bed all the time."

I don't know what happened. I don't know why I let the poor girl have it like I did, but by the end of it, my hands and my voice were shaking. I don't have the slightest idea what I really said, but let's just say it went something like this:

Student: "I go to the tanning bed all the time."
Me, in a shitty voice: "You can go to my chemo sessions with me too."
Student: "No thanks."
Me: "And you're a RED HEAD! You're basically just asking for it!!!!!"
Student: "Stoooooooooooooop."
Co-Worker: "We've been telling her that she needs to stop. It's so bad for her!"
Me: "AND YOU'RE A RED HEAD!!!!!!! Statistically you're a walking melanoma patient!!!"
Student: "Stooooooooooooop."
Me: "Do you know that they said I had a 50% chance of being here in five years?"
Student: "Stooooooooooooooooooooooop."
Me: "If you don't catch it in time, it's not like you can just cut it out. There is no cure."
Student: "Stooooop."
Me: "The World Health Organization classifies UV rays from tanning beds as a class 1 carcinogen, just like tobacco. You might as well start smoking."
Student: "Guys, stooooooooooooop."
Me: "You have to know how bad it is for you. With all of the research that is available, every time you turn on the news they are talking about it. You have to know."
Student: "I obsess with sunscreen every time I'm outside!"
Me: "WHAT'S THE POINT?! 10 minutes in the tanning bed is just like spending 8 hours in the sunlight without sunscreen. What's the point in obsessing with sunscreen if you turn around and go to the tanning bed?"
Student: "I like the way it looks."
Me: "But that's the other thing! IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD! It makes you look old!"
(This is when two of my co-workers chimed in with the changes they've seen in their skin after years in the sun.)
Student: "Stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooop."

And the convo went something like that. The student never said she would consider what I yelled said, but she did thank me. So while I doubt she'll cancel her tanning membership any time soon, I doubt there will be a time in the near future when she doesn't think about the mean girl in the scheduling office who told her that her tan isn't pretty.

(I swear, I wasn't trying to be mean. I realized right away that my tone of voice was abrupt, I was harsh, I said things that I usually only write because they are hard for people to hear, and I let her have it. I don't know why. It just came out! She is such a beautiful young girl with her whole future ahead of her and I hate to think about what she may face in her future.)

Maybe tomorrow, if she'll make eye contact with me, I will apologize for being a bully and encourage her to make better life decisions. Not only for her benefit, but because I don't want to be seen as the mean melanoma girl who throws scary info at the first tan girl that gets brought into her office.

Eh, whatever.

She asked for it.

;-)

(A big thanks to my co-worker who raised some serious melanoma awareness today! I appreciate you!)

In My Face

There once was a gal who valued a tan. She tanned before prom, graduation, and vacations. She tanned before summer break so that she would get a "base tan." She tanned to make her skin, as society determined was the prettiest, bronzed.

Y'all know all of that. I have never denied my tanning history nor have I ever played the victim because of my melanoma diagnosis. I know I screwed up and made some really shitty decisions that I will forever pay for. 

 You don't have to be a radiologist to know you're not supposed to glow like that.

While I am all about protecting my skin, my family members skin, and encouraging others to do so via the Internet, I am not pushy about it in my every day life. I don't pass a sunscreen bottle around the bleachers at my step son's baseball game. (Although I cheered a little when someone else did.) I don't lecture my co-worker about her obvious burn. Unless you're friends with me on Facebook or stumble upon my blog, chances are you don't know I go to NY every 3 months to see my oncologist. Unless you already know about it, you can bet I don't share my melanoma story with you until I consider you a friend. That's just not how I am. I don't want to be that girl who is always yelling at the co-worker she barley knows about his weekend at the beach.

However, if you are friends with me on Facebook, you know I preach sun safety and my true hatred for tanning beds. I try not to be obnoxious, but I'm certainly aware that I probably am. ;-)

Having said all of that, I can't help but cringe when folks come up to me and say, "I thought of you this weekend. I said to my husband, 'Chelsea's going to get mad at me for getting a sunburn" or "You are going to be mad at me, but I'm going to go to the tanning bed just for a few times." I never know how to react because I want to keep the friendly and professional relationships, but I really want to be like "Whyyyyyyyyyyyy do you tell me these things?!" If I saw your sunburn--and I always see the sunburns--I would never say a word. If I noticed your obvious fake and bake sessions, you can bet I wouldn't mumble a sound about it. While I like to raise awareness, I know there is a time and a place for it. But throwing it in my face? Making a point to tell me the things you know I will get upset about? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?! Ahhhhh!

So I started thinking about it today. Let's say I had lung cancer. Would my associate come up to me and say, "I thought of you today when I bought a new pack of cigarettes"? Would the stranger I see once a month say, "I only smoke when I drink" as if that is an excuse for her bad habit? Or would that be in poor taste?

Am I supposed to just be like "Oh OK!" because it's just a tan? Big deal?

If UV rays from tanning beds are class 1 carcinogens, just like tobacco, why can we make excuses for our poor decisions just because we want to look good at the country club?

I make a point to keep my cancer outside of certain areas in my life, but when I hear these confessions, I can't help but speak up. Obviously these folks know their decisions are poor choices, yet they make them anyway. And really, that's on them. It's their skin, their biggest organ. (And yet, the sensitive girl buried inside of me can't help but feel the sting. You don't have to make better life decisions just because I got melanoma, but you could refrain from telling me about those decisions. I had to learn my lesson the hard way which is why I put time and effort into sharing my experience.)

Maybe next time, instead of almost asking for my understanding, they will apply the extra sunscreen and cancel the damn tanning membership.

A girl can hope, can't she?

*Disclaimer: This isn't about a particular event. These types of comments are made weekly. DisclaimerX2: You should know by now there's always a chance YOU will end up on my blog. ;-)

XO.

(And yes, I realize it's been forever since I've blogged. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Life is good--yet very, very, very busy!) 

Too-Much-For-One-Blog-Post-Title

Remember how I became really lazy in updating this blog? It is happening again.

Kick me. Throw something at me. Or just turn to Twitter/Facebook/Instagram and you can see that I haven't forgotten about melanoma awareness. In fact, I've been SUPER busy with it!

Prepping for an interview with the New York Post.

I love the months leading up to May. In just 3 years I have seen melanoma awareness grow. While we still aren't where I would like to see us, we are getting there. Alright, let me do a little updating.

Remember last year the American Academy of Dermatology launched the Spot Skin Cancer campaign in May? Remember how they asked the melanoma community, on Melanoma Monday, to wear orange? Remember the outrage from it? So does the American Academy of Dermatology. Many of us within the melanoma blogging community received an email a few weeks ago inviting us to a conference call to discuss AAD's plan for this melanoma awareness month. Instead of rehashing the conference call, especially because Al wrote about it so well, I suggest you read his post! We were all so thrilled that the American Academy of Dermatology read our emails, heard our frustrations, and reached out to us to apologize. I fully intend to support their efforts in raising awareness for this cruel cancer!

I also spoke with a drug company who plans to host a blogger conference in May! I wish I could share more info with you, but be on the look out for it in the coming months. I was so impressed with how interested the company is to promote melanoma awareness so I'm thrilled to see what happens!

This past Saturday was all about indulging in our city's St. Patrick's Day events. I lathered on the sunscreen and headed downtown with my husband to meet up with some of our friends. We had such a fun time!

 

 While enjoying the green beer, I received a message from my melanoma friend in Texas. She said that a reporter for the New York Post was working on an article regarding a donation made to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. The reporter wanted to speak to patients who had been treated with Yervoy by MSK. Jennifer passed along my contact info and I was able to talk to the reporter Sunday morning.

So what did a reporter for the NY Post want to talk to this Virginia girl about? It's kind of ridiculous. Apparently folks in NY are royally pissed off at billionaire David Koch and expect New York-Presbyterian Hospital to turn down the $100 million donation he recently made. $100 million dollars, y'all. The reason they don't believe the hospital should accept it? His conservative political beliefs. (Insert eye roll here. It always comes down to politics, doesn't it?)

According to the NY post, Mr. Koch has given MSKCC  $61 million since 1992. This money was extremely instrumental in the development of Yervoy. Should Sloan-Kettering return that generous sum of money because Mr. Koch doesn't agree with Obamacare? Really? (Insert annoyed face here.)

You can read the article for yourself here; however, there are a few things I want to add:

1) The article's title this morning was "Cancer patients bash Koch hospital donation protesters." First, I can speak for Erin and myself, we didn't bash anyone, not even the protestors. When questioned about my feelings, I said that maybe I am selfish, but I'm grateful for the money that Mr. Koch donated because without money, there is no research. Without research, there will be no cure. I don't care where the money is coming from as long as it is used for the right reasons. I'm grateful for his donation.

2) The new title is "Koch hospital saved my life: Cancer patient." I think I'm just going to wait for Erin to blog about this because I'm sure she's going to have something to say. (Insert another annoyed looking face here.)

3) I remember the day Yervoy was approved by the FDA. I was sitting in my hospital bed at MSKCC, recovering from 2 full lymph node dissections, when my surgeon walked into the room. Dr. Ariyan sat down on the end of the bed and told me the news. She had tears in her eyes because she knew what this approval could mean for many of her patients: a new chance.

4) What would I say if confronted by Mr. Koch? Two words: Thank you.

5) So that's what it's like to be interviewed by the New York Post. (For the record, the reporter was SO nice and I enjoyed our 30 minute chat. I'm glad I introduced him to Erin because she was totally the right fit for this story. She's a badass melanoma warrior!)

**On a happier subject, I had the opportunity to chat with Robin over the last few weeks regarding articles for the website cancercommons.org  Talking with Robin, even about melanoma, was fun! She was so great to chat with and it was a pleasure telling her my story. Robin's article was published today and I am honored to be featured as a Super Patient! The article briefly touches on my melanoma diagnosis, why I said NO to interferon, and how I ended up in a clinical trial at MSKCC. Feel free to check out the article here. I encourage you to browse their entire site. There is a ton of important information.

Hopefully only one more time in this chair!

Oh, and by the way, my scans were A-OK! I was totally unremarkable! (The one time I strive to be unremarkable! Ha!) The lymph node remained the same size as it was in January. Scans 3 months in a row? I'm pretty much glowing. I'm so relieved to have a break until May!

I also had my second to last infusion! Can you believe it will be 3 years in May? My liver is apparently feeling it though. I received a call today from the oncology nurse that my liver enzymes--AST--are elevated. This happened after my last infusion as well. Maybe I really  am getting the drug. (Oh, and I promise, I had the bloodwork done last week, before the green beer! Hahaha!) I will go back this coming Thursday to have my labs repeated. Hopefully my liver will heal itself just like last time!

Alright, if you got through all of that rambling, THANK YOU. I'll try to do better about blogging, I promise.

XOXO

Pointing Fingers

I was browsing my Newsfeed this afternoon when I noticed a post shared by Stand Up To Cancer: "People who use a tanning salon before age 35 increase their risk of melanoma by 75%, according to the CDC. These gloomy winter months, please tell your loved ones: an artificial tan is not worth the very real price." (This article was also posted: Tanning beds used by more than a third.)

How right they are to remind folks the danger of tanning during these gloomy months! I'll admit, when it was -10 degrees, the memories of heading to the tanning salon to warm up did flash in my head! Ah, the warmth! It isn't often that Stand Up To Cancer posts anything regarding skin cancer and melanoma so it was a great reminder to see.

I started browsing the comments, impressed that so many people voiced their support of tan-free skin. Then I came across this one comment that actually made me stop what I was doing: "Being a cancer survivor an having no choice in the matter. I have no sympathy for people who fake bake an then they whine when they end up with cancer" (Directly copied & pasted from Stand Up To Cancer's Facebook page.)

Hold up.

Stop a minute.

"I have no sympathy"
"Whine when they end up with cancer"

Did this dude, a cancer survivor, really say that because people make poor decisions during their lives, they shouldn't feel grief when they are faced with those consequences?

I reread it. Yep, that's what he said. (This must be what smokers feel like after being diagnosed with lung cancer. Ouch.)

I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just picked an insensitive way to respond. So I responded to him: "I don't think you'll find many of us in the melanoma community who expect people to hear us "whine" after we participated in activities that may have caused us to battle a horrifying and incurable cancer. You WILL hear us share our stories with hopes that others learn from our mistakes. Please be careful what you say. Melanoma is like lung cancer. We aren't ALL "at fault" for our diagnosis."

In my opinion, telling a melanoma patient who used to tan, "Sorry, idiot. You dug your own grave" is like looking at a lung cancer patient who used to smoke and saying "Shit happens. You picked up the cigarettes. Deal with it." Yes, both of statements may be true, but would we really say that to someone? 

Would we really blame them for their cancer?

This fella responded to the comments: "Did u read my post all the way through. I said people that use tanning beds know the cosequences before they ever step foot in one. Why be shocked when people lay in one countless times a week ?? I never said anything about snyone who got melanoma any other way." (Again, this was copied & pasted directly from Stand Up To Cancer's Facebook.) 

So this got me thinking. It's 2014, can we really claim to be uneducated about the dangers of tanning beds?

I didn't even have to turn to Google right away. I thought back to my morning commute into work. I was listening to the radio when a commercial came on promoting Tan for Free at the local tanning salon. At the very end of the commercial, the lady says, "Please tan responsibly." 

Then I turned to Google to browse:

-In 2012, Dr. Mercola said, "High-quality indoor tanning devices are safe if you precisely follow the simple guideline of never getting burned" (Read the full article here.)

-Salons continuously state the "health benefits" associated with year long tanning. There's even a full website called Tanning Truth that explains the perks of using these coffin like beds. Then there's salons like this one who have a full page listing reasons why you should tan. This one particular salon even states that you should tan indoors rather than outside. (To view their list of crap, you can click here.)

-During an interview with PBS NewsHour, Bridget Huber, who wrote this awesome article I was thrilled to be included in, stated that the indoor tanning association believes groups like the American Cancer Society and dermatologists have scared people into thinking that the sun and tanning beds will cause cancer. Huber stated, the tanning industry believes "these groups are possibly killing more people than tobacco did by causing what they portray as a deadly epidemic of vitamin D deficiency."

-Who is at the highest rate of believing the lies tanning salons spread: Teenagers. Nearly 30% of teenage girls are using tanning beds. (Source.)

-According to this salon, "Scientists have not found any indication that moderate and responsible indoor tanning over an extended period of time causes skin damage. It is important that you follow the recommended exposure based on the tanning unit used and your skin type. Skin damage, including skin cancer, could occur if a person overexposes the skin to UV."

-"Tanning beds are the best source of vitamin D." C'mon, don't act like you haven't heard that over and over again.

I could go on and on and on--I won't, because I want to watch Sunday's episode of Downton Abbey--but you get the point. It's 2014 and tanning salons are still pushing the benefits of indoor tanning. While some adults may have learned that the salons are just trying to make a buck, 30% of teenagers are still subjecting themselves to the class 1 carcinogens. Until minors are outlawed from making the decision to tan, they will continue. It's only natural. We still live in a society that values golden skin. More than anyone, teenagers are influenced by society. Of course they are going to continue to tan if they are allowed. The threat of cancer? That's years away.

Back to my original point, Do we know the risks when we step foot in a tanning bed? Should we be blamed for our cancer since we did tan? Should we forfeit our right to "whine" since we put ourselves in this position?

I responded to his post:

"But do they really know the consequences? That's pretty bold to say since tanning salons shove the "benefits of responsible tanning" down your throat. I began tanning at age 14--the law allowed this--because I wanted to be pretty in my prom dress. All the other kids did it, why shouldn't I? I tanned off and on until I was 21. It was right around that time that I figured that maybe tanning beds weren't great for me. I cancelled my membership and never stepped foot in one again. 2 years later, I was diagnosed with stage 3 malignant melanoma. I know that my immature and uneducated decisions more than likely caused me to be diagnosed with an incurable cancer at age 23, but what can I do about it now? I can "whine." I can share my scar pictures. I can advocate to our local government about why we need to protect our minors against these beds. I can do what needs to be done so that another young girl does not make the same poor decisions I made. But, I will not be suck it up and be quiet just because I did this to myself."

I've met melanoma friends who never used a tanning bed. I've had to say goodbye to friends who never had a sunburn. These people had no control over their cancers, just like an ovarian cancer patient has no control over hers. Some would say I have no right to bitch about my cancer. I did it to myself. 

Here's the thing, Mr. Internet Man, no one will ever beat me up as much as I beat myself up. 

I did the deed and now I will always pay the price. I get it. I also get that this guy probably wishes he could do anything in his power to prevent his cancer. I understand he may be in pain, he may still be emotionally healing, he may never understand how one could make such a decision that could risk their life. I respect that pain. I understand that pain. But here's the other thing: cancer's a bitch, no matter how you get it and no matter what kind you get. Even if I did bring it upon myself, I still want to fight it. I still deserve to fight it.

 So while this fella may never understand the importance of sharing our stories--whining for our cause--I will continue to do so because it's just so obvious how much work still needs to be done.

Sigh.