I mean, who doesn't want to be Batman?
OK, sorry. I'm sleepy and distracted. I just wanted to post a quick hello to thank you for your support last week and your well wishes. It is truly a blessing that I went one full year of no evidence of disease. Gotta admit I didn't expect it!
January 10, 2013 I will celebrate my 2 year cancer-versary. Last year my friend Rayna gave me a handmade book that consisted of letters from my molemates. I started reading the book again tonight and one letter in particular caught my attention. My friend Becca wrote, "My hope, my dream and my prayer for you (us) is that our friendship will expand beyond this horrible disease. That one day, all of this will be an after thought to our loves, our lives, and our babies." Well, Becca, I think it's happening...
Melanoma doesn't consume me anymore. While it is--and always will be--a priority of mine, I am enjoying life. I am taking the gift I have been given and appreciating it. There are certain friends of mine--even some who wrote me letters just a year ago--who are no longer with us. How selfish would I be if I constantly sat around feeling sorry for myself? My friends wanted to live. They wanted to see their kids grow up, they dreamed of being a mother, they just wanted a few more years...I've been given the gift of a little more time. None of us know how much time we have, but we can't let that question consume our every day. I can't control my time. Why sit and obsess when that time will come? Now, please don't get me wrong. I am still a scared little girl. I still have days where I worry. I still cry when I learn of my friends suffering. I still have a mild panic attack when I have a swollen lymph node, and you can bet your money that I stop sleeping & become quite the B word around scan time. Then I move on with my day. That's what has changed in the last year...I've stopped obsessing.
I am going to take a little break from blogging. I still plan on posting, but I may be scatter brained about it. I don't want you to think I've stopped my melanoma awareness campaign, I just have to let it sit on the back burner for a little bit. We are scheduled to close on our house January 11, 2013 and have to be completely out of our apartment on January 15th, so this little girl is going to be busy!
Melanoma doesn't consume me anymore. While it is--and always will be--a priority of mine, I am enjoying life. I am taking the gift I have been given and appreciating it. There are certain friends of mine--even some who wrote me letters just a year ago--who are no longer with us. How selfish would I be if I constantly sat around feeling sorry for myself? My friends wanted to live. They wanted to see their kids grow up, they dreamed of being a mother, they just wanted a few more years...I've been given the gift of a little more time. None of us know how much time we have, but we can't let that question consume our every day. I can't control my time. Why sit and obsess when that time will come? Now, please don't get me wrong. I am still a scared little girl. I still have days where I worry. I still cry when I learn of my friends suffering. I still have a mild panic attack when I have a swollen lymph node, and you can bet your money that I stop sleeping & become quite the B word around scan time. Then I move on with my day. That's what has changed in the last year...I've stopped obsessing.
I am going to take a little break from blogging. I still plan on posting, but I may be scatter brained about it. I don't want you to think I've stopped my melanoma awareness campaign, I just have to let it sit on the back burner for a little bit. We are scheduled to close on our house January 11, 2013 and have to be completely out of our apartment on January 15th, so this little girl is going to be busy!
And really, we all know I can only last a few days from my favorite past-time....
Plus, I have a 2 year cancerversary in just a few days that I will definitely have to reflect on. Sometimes it feels like it has been so much longer than 2 years, other times it still feels like it was yesterday when I was sitting on that cold table...........
Plus, I have a 2 year cancerversary in just a few days that I will definitely have to reflect on. Sometimes it feels like it has been so much longer than 2 years, other times it still feels like it was yesterday when I was sitting on that cold table...........
OK, enough! Have a great week! I'll be back soon. XOXO!
2 comments:
Congratulations!!! I am so glad you are moving forward with your life and receiving blessings from all over! Sometimes it's hard for me to stop being stuck in the "I lost my dad" mindset...I still get angry and sad and upset, but he wouldn't want me to be stuck and sad. I am moving forward and although melanoma will always play a huge role in my life, I now know it is okay to have fun, laugh, move forward, and LIVE. Congratulations to you!!!
I am so excited for you! Congratulations on everything!
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