All IS Good!

I just wanted to post a quick update that my scans were totally OK! The lymph node is still there, but it is smaller! My oncologist believes it isn't related to the melanoma at all, but possibly related to trauma from previous surgeries. I couldn't believe it when he told me. I had him repeat it numerous times before it even fully clicked. I went there ready to plan for surgery, so to hear that my oncologist believes I'm still healthy...AWESOME!

Our plan now is to rescan in 6 weeks per clinical trial protocol and continue on!

Thanking all of you for your thoughts, prayers and love during this scary time for my family and I. We greatly appreciate it.

Speaking of my family, I'm sneaking off to spend more time with them!

Thank you again for your prayers and good juju! I greatly appreciate it!

XOXO

"The Hindsight of Cancer."

"As a survivor, I owe it to humanity to share everything 

I can to take any shred of power away from cancer. 

And yes, it's taken me a little while to find my voice, 

to find my vulnerability and to squash it, 

and to be free and able and willing

 and happy to talk about my own path, 

and how many of my own missteps can and should be avoided. 

But I found that voice. 

And I haven't shut-up since.

 And as far as when is a good time to do it... 

it is entirely up to the survivor. 

A month... 

a year... 

10 years...

 it doesn't matter, 

as long as you don't forget the hindsight of cancer.

 Because there is one... 

and it's imperative that it survives, too."

-Dan Duffy.

Go read the entire article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dan-duffy/the-hindsight-of-cancer_b_3492301.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

The Negative Committee

 

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We all have them, The Negative Committees, that sometimes take up more time than they are typically allowed. Usually my Negative Committee only pops up right around scan time. I acknowledge it and I move on. I am normally good at pushing aside the worries and getting back to my MelaNormal life. I feel like living my life is one of the best ways to get revenge on melanoma. It's my way of telling melanoma it isn't winning. Lately, it's been hard to keep the anxiety away. I'm fine as long as I'm busy, but it's at night when I'm sending my good juju towards my friends that The Negative Committee begins to show her ugly face.

I know why. 

When I was first diagnosed with stage III malignant melanoma, it was a complete surprise. I was not expecting one little mole to turn my entire life upside down. Even after the first surgery I didn't know what I had ahead of me. Through my research and meeting friends online I quickly realized that melanoma is not going to be something I heal from and forget. It's always going to be there. There's always going to be the need for observation. I will forever be a cancer patient. That took a long time for me to grasp. If I'm being honest, sometimes I still don't think I totally grasp it. Thankfully I get to live my life in a way that doesn't force melanoma to be on the front burner anymore. I get to be a healthy daughter, a silly girlfriend, a crazy live-in-girlfriend-not-yet-stepmom to the kiddo, a loving sister (HA! I try, sissy & baby sis!), etc. I am one of the lucky ones.

So, why is the Negative Committee back in session? I am far better off than others! I've hesitated blogging about this, so try to understand...The Negative Committee has been on overtime in my head lately because  seeing my friends advance to stage IV has been very difficult. I'm scared for these people. I ache for their families. And then, late at night, I see myself in their shoes.

People sometimes question why stage III patients receive CT scans so often. This year I saw how important those scans actually are for us. I witnessed how quickly one can go from No Evidence of Disease to stage IV.  Perfect scans, clear for 2 1/2 months, then boom, melanoma in multiple locations. It happens so quickly.

It terrifies me.

I'm not uneducated anymore. I can't hide behind my "it's just skin cancer, it's OK" attitude. I know what it can do and how quickly it can do it.

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Some would tell me that one way to avoid this added anxiety would be to take a step back from all things melanoma, to put melanoma behind me. Well, that's what people don't realize. These people are my friends. Selfishly, their situations terrify me. More importantly, their situations break my hearts because of the ways it changes their lives! These aren't statistics I'm reading about, these are my friends. I cheer for them, I cry for them. I'm going to celebrate with them when they receive the news that they are once again showing no evidence of disease. (And it will happen, girls.) It's that simple.

The Negative Committee has officially outstayed her welcome. Maybe I do need to stop being afraid to dream of No Evidence of Disease

...for all of us.

Those 4 Words I Was Waiting To Hear

It has been an awesome week. Long, but awesome. 

Now we are beginning a 

3 day staycation weekend? Ah, perfection.

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In honor of the long weekend, I am linking up with 

http://www.frommygreydeskblog.com/

for High Five For Friday!

Let's recap on the awesomeness of this past week, shall we?

After all, it's not every week you are asked

those

4 words you've been waiting to hear.

1) I got to spend a super fun day at The Greensboro Children's Museum

with Mr. Spots, his kiddo, his sister, husband, and the twins!

While they played,

so did I...

 2) I received the Save the Date
for The Skin Cancer Foundation Gala!
(No pictures, sorry!) 

3) I booked an interview with a local news channel
to share details on how I have used this blog
to promote skin cancer awareness.

4) I actually slept through the night.
*OK, I got up to pee once. 
(Just once is unusual. Smallest bladder ever!)

5) I have important news to share...
and I can't focus on anything 
until I tell you........

 I heard that 4 word question that

I had been hoping and wishing to hear:
"When can you start?"


I GOT THE JOB!

Starting September 24, 2012
I will be a full-time employee for
the local
Veterans Administration Medical Center.

 I have wanted to work for them since I graduated from college,
and I finally, finally, finally
got a job there.

While I love the company I work for,
and all of our prosthetic patients,
I really feel like I can make a difference 
at the veterans hospital.

...even if all I do is help them smile.
I want to give back to those
who give so much for us.

Go enjoy your weekend!

I am celebrating by going to bed early tonight.
I'm beat!

Have a wonderful and safe labor day weekend.
Don't forget the sunscreen!
XOXO