So many of you emailed me yesterday concerned about the "personal hit" I wrote about on the last blog post. Unsure of what to say, I needed more time to think about it. This blog is my therapy, my online diary. Because it is viewed by people I actually know in real life, I was hesitant to write about this latest adventure without giving Mr. Spots a chance to defend himself. But, I wrote about the good and ugly times in the past. I must do it once again.
As of this past Saturday, Mr. Spots & I are no more.
I am not going to go into the details because I do not feel like that is fair to him. Let's just say that cancer, distance, and different priorities sure can ruin a relationship quickly. Although my heart is breaking, I fully support this decision. I do not think anyone can doubt my love for Mr. Spots, nor his for me, but we are not the couple we used to be. Gone is the fun relationship we had, and unfortunately, although we did try, we could not survive the stress of the last 6 months.
I love him, I wish him well, and I will always cherish him for taking care of me during the hardest months so far of my life. I sincerely hope he finds a (healthy!) girl to give his heart to. He has a lot of love to give.
This weekend I came across something Jodi Picoult wrote, "Maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself; maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life before you understood what you wanted out of it." Maybe that is what this experience has taught Mr. Spots and I...Maybe now we can peacefully move on with the rest of our lives, go after our true desires and goals without resenting each other for the pain that this experience has brought.
Until I make peace with this latest bump in my road, I think it is understandable I am a little sad.
(OK...a lot sad.)
3 comments:
So sorry! Cancer sucks...it's not enough that it takes a toll on your body but it can destroy relationships too. I've seen this happen first hand. Of course you are very sad...but hang in there and I hope you come to peace. :)
Chelsea,
I am sorry to hear this news. Of course you are sad. I'm sure Mr. Spots is a great guy but good for you both if you realized the timing isn't right. Right now all your energy has to be spent on fighting cancer. When all this is over, the love of your life will find you and you'll realize everything happens the way it is supposed to. I hope everything feels better soon.
Hugs for Strength
Hi Chelsea, you don't know me...yet. But you will. I and Christina have about the same chronology. Ask her about Evan.
My best friend walked out on me the day I was recovering from the lymphectomy and never came back.
My work was destroyed, the insurance didn't pay, on and on. And guess what...I feel like the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.
What you focus on will get bigger...whatever it is, it will. So choose wisely.
The people on fb and the bad ass site can save your life if you are willing to read between the lines. It's not what they say, it is what you(I) feel when they say it.
Peace,
Evan
Post a Comment