...means it is impossible for me to relax.
Even though I have no reason to be concerned about my upcoming scans, all of my blood work has looked good, etc, I still have anxiety about Thursday. My life is just now falling back into place. I am finally reaching a point where I will not visit with the vampires every 3 weeks, I can avoid anything in a lab coat for 3 months, I feel healthy! I do not want to lose that new relief.
If you ever meet a cancer patient who does not experience scanxiety, send them my way! I need to learn their relaxation strategies. I am participating in positive thinking & all of that jazz, but when bedtime rolls around, my body refuses to relax. I do get to read quite a lot of books during Scan Week...although if you asked me to tell you the minor points of the book, I could not. I tend to reread the books when I am able to focus.
I originally had the interview with The Skin Cancer Foundation today at 4 pm; however, that has been rescheduled to next Monday. The change in schedule actually works better for me since my office was broken into this morning..............People these days!
Anyway, I have to go clean up after these a-holes that trashed this place. I just wanted to post a quick hello to everyone and update them on the interview schedule.
I hope you all are having a better day than I am! ;-)
XOXO
4 comments:
Best wishes on Thursday.
I will be thinking of you! I know that feeling of scanxiety all too well, haha. :)
Wish I could help, but the time leading up to a scan is by far the worst time for me. I think I handle this whole mess pretty well in general, but there's no doubt that the scan window is where I'm least successful. My appointment is on the 22nd and I can already feel myself spiraling into surly, pessimistic, moroseness.
Hopefully, at the very least, I won't throw myself into financial turmoil like I did last time. My wife's car lease was up two weeks prior to my last scan and, as I am apt to do, I had procrastinated. I had no choice but to take care of it, but I'd just passed the "statistical average" survival time for my stage of the disease and I was definitely not in a positive frame of mind about the likely outcome of my imminent scan...
I am now the owner (yes, cash purchased so my wife didn't have to worry about payments or anything "when I was gone"), of a rather high-end luxury sedan (the extra reliability and longer warranty would give her some peace of mind) with all the accessories (especially the Navigation Package... she's a little directionally challenged) and of course I opted to purchase a pre-paid maintenance package so that everything would be worry free (they'll even call and let her know when maintenance is due. They'll come pick up the car and leave her a loaner while they're performing her oil change, tire rotation, etc.)... Ish...
As I leave for work each morning I can only shake my head as I walk past THAT little reminder of how poorly I handled my anxiety 6 months ago. I'm hopeful that I can be a little less... idiotic?... this time around.
If someone contacts you with a magical scanxiety cure (or even a successful technique for minimizing its effects) PLEASE think of my battered bank account and pass the information along!
Keep the chin up. I'll be thinking of you. All my best to you this week (and even more positive thoughts for you on those agonizing days after the scan waiting for that damn call from the doctor!)
---
Tim
it does improve with time. I am 3 years out from Stage 4 and can't tell my wife the scan date until the morning of. She gets to worked up. I on the other hand know that I am unable to do anything about it until the Dr. walks in the room. I prepare with what my current options would be if there is negative news. I want to make sure it is a productive appointment if it is bad news. Yes, my wife also says I don't show enough emotion with my situation:)
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