Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Something Beautiful

One week from today is my one year cancer-versary with our dark friend Melanoma. One year. Wow.

As you would expect, I have a lot of thoughts brewing. I did not sleep well last night. My sister and boyfriend joke that when I go to sleep, I look like I am dead, meaning that I do not move, snore, or anything that most people do in their sleep. (Although I do have frequent pee breaks. What can I say? I have the bladder the size of a pea.) They recently confided that when I was recovering from surgeries this past year, they both would get extremely close to my face just to verify that I was, in fact, alive. According to Mr. Spots, I have been tossing and turning lately. Anxiety? Or is it just the new Stephen King book interrupting my usually peaceful dreams?

I am not ready to blog about my anxiety tonight. Instead, on this cold Tuesday night in Southwest Virginia, I am going to go curl up to my guy. In my other blog, I once said, that like Elizabeth Gilbert, "I deserve something beautiful."

 I believe, with my whole heart, that I have found it.


shana said...

What a cute couple! I have never had a conversation with you before but I believe we briefly met since I used to work with "Sid" (my nickname for Mr. Spots because I would tell him he reminded me of Sid the sloth from the Ice Age movies..haha). You are such an inspiration to sooo many people, including myself. I have never been a tanning bed visitor but I do enjoy my time in the sun...only now I am more educated (because of you) on how dangerous it is so I lube up on sunscreen whenever I am out (which I never did before because I tanned so easily..STUPID). Thank you for that! I know that with your positive attitude and strength that your future will be full of happiness!!
I wanted to share a poem with you (written by a 12-yr old that my sister-in-law knows) that gives us such a positive message. This poem has helped me through tough days as my father suffers from cirrhosis of the liver and is awaiting a transplant.

When Tragedy shows itself,
And Disaster becomes all we know,
When Grief is our only companion,
And Despair is our single belonging,
Hope appears.
And suddenly,
The Tragedy is not so tragic,
The Disaster, not so disastrous,
The Grief is easier to cope with,
And the Despair is drowned,
By the Hope.
A single light at the end of the tunnel,
Leading the way for all who seek it,
So have Hope,
Embrace Hope,
Absorb Hope and radiate it wherever you go,
So that other's may have Hope as well.

Keep on keepin' on Chelsea...you rock!!

RBS said...

Congratulations Chelsea. My sweetie and I will have our 36th anniversary this month. My first brush with mel was 1995 and then I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2005, then mel stage 3 last June. and i cannot imagine a better partner to have beside me as i battle this crap. Congratulations to you, I don't think anyone appreciates love as much as those of us with later stage cancer. I wish you and Mr. Spots decades of love and NED. "the other Chelsea's dad"