Discussing your future with your (fairly new) boyfriend is scary enough.
Discussing how cancer involves your future?
Life has been pretty hectic recently. My family has been in and out. Phone has been ringing off the hook. I have been attached to my computer like my life depended on it, needing to get every bit of information I can possibly get.
My Grand-mom complimented me the other day by saying she is so proud of me, and how I have taken control of this not-so-happy situation. I'll be the first to admit I can be a (little) bit of a control freak. So, my control freak personality requires me to know step-by-step what is going to happen to me.
Because of all of this, to say that I have not had much quality time with B would be an understatement.
Last night, however, we finally talked. He came home, I was still on the computer, and said that he believes it is awesome that I am blogging about my experience. Awesome? He thinks it's awesome? Shocking! For some reason, I thought he would think I was sharing too much information...Kind of like facebook, ya know, me telling everyone the ins and outs of my life. I was very relieved, and proud, to know that he thinks it is a good idea.
B is one of the few people I let myself break down to...he doesn't tell me to stop crying...he just lets me cry. (And anyone who has had a good cry lately knows how therapeutic that is.) I cried. and I cried. And I cried.
And I felt better.
So, I am in the bedroom, reading my book, trying to relax before bed, when he walks in and tells me he read my blog.
"Well?" I ask.
"I actually laughed out loud when I read Dr. Bad Mustaches name. Dr. Pink is perfect. You're very talented. I laughed. I cried."
So, we talked.
I told him my fears. He told me his thoughts. And he reinforced my belief that he is pretty freakin' awesome. ;-)
Then.......he says, "I think I should be called Mr. Spots. B is so...boring."
"Yeah, you know. You have Melanoma...I am your boyfriend...I am going through it with you, too...Mr. Spots!"
And that's the story how my very sweet B became Mr. Spots.