I didn't expect it to feel this good to be home. Maybe it is seeing the relief in mom's face, maybe it's being surrounded by things from my childhood, or maybe I am just thrilled at the opportunity to see my family whenever I want, but it feels comforting to be home.
Leaving Mr. Spots was as hard as I expected. I have to admit I shed a few tears...not because I hate being away from him, obviously that's something I can cope with since we began as a long distance relationship. It is more the looming realization that nothing will ever be the same. I am trying to look at that in the "glass is half full" type of way instead of the opposite, but in the back of my mind I do fear that we will change too much during this tiring journey...We will both be living two totally different lives...Instead of focusing on that, I am going to appreciate what we have now. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? (OK, I rolled my eyes as I typed that. I'd prefer to be curled up next to him at night.)
My days prior to heading to New York are going to be busy. Settling in, seeing the family, dinners here, lunches there, I sure won't be bored. I know it has been hard for my family to be 7 hours away from me, or in the case of my Gran and Pop, many more hours, so I believe it will be a great stress reliever for all of us to be in one place. I'm looking forward to it. (Granny, I am looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!)
I know that I shouldn't be selfish, but I truly hope everyone "keeps it cool" during our visits. Seeing those I love upset over this hurts me more than the situation itself. I know that sounds incredibly selfish...and I know sometimes we all need to cry...however, it does make things harder on me. I tend to censor out the seriousness of this to some people in order to protect them. My "momma bear" instincts take control!
Let's not cry until we have more of a reason to cry.